I can't resist

Let me preface this by saying that I am angry and bitter over the Octuplets thing...

This is a post about the Octo-mom ... I won't even give her the satisfaction of using her name...

It torques me to no end that Dateline has set up a link to her website to "accept donations" -- that she has her own website "Thanking you for your donation" and NO I won't put a link to it here because she doesn't deserve it. Let the government take care of the babies...but STOP her and all of her benefits. It's not the babies' fault that she is so mentally unstable and planning to have all these children (that she knows will have disabilities from being so preemie, so she's gonna live off their SSI, so no, she's not getting public assistance...directly!)....

So I wonder, my dear friends, how many of you would be willing to make a donation to me to start an RE fund so I can get pregnant with my baby #6....and successfully carry it to term...I only want one...doesn't even necessarily need to be done by IVF...I only need $450 to cover my initial RE visit...(you know I'm just kidding right?)...Maybe I'll set up a separte blog just for that? LOL I promise you that my child's SSI goes directly to HIS needs, not to the mortgage or bills, I promise you that I am married and have a job -- and my husband has a job too! I pay out of pocket for my health insurance...which is why I would need donations to pay for the RE since MY insurance doesn't cover it!!

Here's a post I made on a board about the interview last night -- I just feel like EVERYONE should know how / what I feel about it

yes people are being hard on her, and I am one...sorry :( I too am addicted to having babies...I have trouble believing she has secondary infertility when she's had 14 kids within 7 years. (6 in 6 years). She has no husband and no job. She says she will support them financially via student loans which is different from welfare...but if she files bankruptcy (sp?)...won't those student loans be forgiven that way?

I am struggling with secondary infertility and don't have the funds to pay for an RE no less IVF....she was never questioned on the interview last night as to how she paid for them...she claims that she's already exhuasted $50k in student loans but I KNOW that the medical payments for her treatments for the IVF, the pregnancy, the delivery, the post partum care and the babies' care is NOT covered in that 50k...I am probably not a good judge...I am very bitter over this...I PAY for my health insurance and THEY don't cover IVF or even the bloodwork to see if there's an underlying condition why I haven't successfully carried a pg to term over the last 14 months (and BTW: I have the same insurance she does and I KNOW that without a job there's no way she could afford their premiums!)...who is paying for all the medical? I want to jump on that bandwagon and I am having some emotional issues with my losses and failure to carry my last baby to term!!

She's still in denial...her poor kids...did you see that part of the interview? The kids are already stressing out and the babies haven't come home yet...Oh and it just gets me how when they ask how she will manage with no father, she says that they have a grandfather...ok, well how long will he live? Another 20 years?? better hope so if she thinks that he's the 'father figure'....is it really fair to her father for her to expect him to raise another 14 kids when he's already done his part in raising his child (since she was an only)...That's just plain selfish of her to my way of thinking...not only that but my DH has issues with having children past the age of 50...what does "grandpa" think?

Then she says she will 'rely' on volunteers to help her...obviously she's got the media in mind and expecting plenty of volunteers?

She says she's not living on welfare...ok, well who's paying her medical bills? The babies...well they had no choice so I hope they are covered by some government medical program.

Something else that bothers me about the interview...she's been jetting all over the country--ignoring all 14 of her kids...If it were me, I would either be taking as much time as I could to spend some one on one time with the older children before the babies come home...time at the hospital with the babies and making them come to me if they wanted to interview me...

Also she claims three of her children are special needs (and receive SS)...now I have one child with autism (and another with other special needs, but not as severe as autism)....how can she not be there for all the therapies and to help keep him calm...when I went into labor with my last child I was in such a hurry that 2 hrs after the baby was born I was requesting to be sent home to see my son....how is she gonna manage all this? Let all the volunteers do it? Her parents? Because you know if she's interviewing, meeting with publicsists (sp?), going to school, working, when will she have time to parent her children????

Sorry, you got me going on a rant there. Hope I didn't offend anyone...

oh yeah

and I forgot to mention that I also sold my car for $200 to our babysitter...had to drive her over to get her insurance card, then to DMV to get her her own plates because I wasn't about to let her drive with mine...while driving her around, she was telling me about this mutal acquaintance (used to be a friend of mine) that is 23years old, got pregnant at 19 by 'accident' and had triplets...

then got pregnant again when they were 18 months old and had an abortion...

then found a new boyfriend and boom pregnant again 2 months after her abortion...

In the past year, she lost the triplets to a custody battle (over her neglecting them) with her ex-boyfriend's parents...and now the boys live in another state and she doesn't seem to care...she doesn't even attempt to visit them!!

Found a new boyfriend in the past year too AND was pregnant again--with twins...she just lost the twins this past Saturday--she was about 8 weeks along. Her first miscarriage, but I don't know that it really bothers her that much -- after all, she DID have an abortion and it didn't seem to affect her...

I can't say I feel badly for her and I know that probably makes me an awful person --but when I had experienced my first miscarriage she came over on Christmas eve and showed off her pregnant belly and then offered to let me rub it since I "didn't have one to rub anymore"....I haven't spoken to her since then...

And
I didn't get to do my Wii Fit today :( that's such a bummer...but I did get all my housework done...down to the last sock in the laundry!! Since it's nearly 10:30 I am not going to do my Wii Fit today ... It's just too late and I really need to get to bed...I'm up for another long day tomorrow

Desperate times call for desperate measures

Still no sign of real labor with baby Zac....Since 5:30 this morning I have tried nearly everything...I started my morning with some good ol' fashioned loving...Sent Andrew to the store and he got some Castor Oil which I mixed with some Pepsi and swallowed on down (only took one ounce though since I've heard it can also make the baby have a bm)...Walking, stairs, being on my feet for five straight hours (yikes, my back!!)...Even sent DH back out in the snow to get some spicy Mexican foods. The castor oil, I'm told is supposed to give you diarrhea and then labor will start. I took an hour long nap, woke up with some nice strong contractions and have only had one bout of 'water poop' as Harley calls it...Then I was having contractions about 5 minutes apart, getting nice and strong....Then they petered out!! UUUGGGHHH! I don't want to do more castor oil since it might affect the health of the baby...We tried some more lovin' but still nothin'

Oh well, I guess Zac isn't ready to enter the outside world yet...38w1d and counting!!

It's official!!

glitter logo maker

A bit of a scare!!

But everything's ok...for now....
Had some spotting yesterday and it really freaked me out! Since I haven't been able to shake this cold for over a week, I was also concerned about the lack of movement / change in kinds of movement I was feeling from the baby. I called the OB's office and told them I wasn't sure if it was the cold bringing it on or not. I had some pain along with it, so they had me go in and be monitored for about an hour. Of course, Tyler had to go with me and was being a typical toddler!! Can't get that boy to sit still!! There were no doctors in since they were all at training so they said they would have the dr review the printouts and get back to me after noon.

While I was there on the monitor the alarms started going off...I saw the readout said that the heart rate was 190! I freaked out!! When the nurse came in, she said it was my heart rate, not the baby's...Still concerning, but at least it wasn't the baby's...

About 1:45 I get a call back saying that the dr. wants me to come in and be monitored again. I get there and they can't seem to find the baby's heartbeat...I freaked again, which made my heart rate skyrocket! After about 10 minutes they finally found his heartbeat and hooked me up for another hour...Everything appears fine with both me and the baby, but I still have to have a phone appt with my OB later today and then another appt on Tuesday....I sure hope this cold subsides so that I can breathe and maybe start getting better movement out of this baby!!

DH and DD got a nice little lecture yesterday about how they need to help out more..I told the nurse that DH allowed me to slack off all day Sunday. She was pretty happy about that, but told him that he needs to let me slack off at least 2 hours every single day!! I feel so bad that so much pressure is being put on him!

Update: Well, the spotting is back. All I did was get all 3 kids ready for school, some vacuuming and lay Tyler down for his nap...I wish I could just sit and relax and enjoy this pregnancy!!

Pregnancy news!

Harley felt Zac move last night...ever since then he's following me around and putting his hand on my belly waiting for more...Whenever I sit, he sits within arms reach of me to feel it...So Here's the Harleyism for today (since I can't even go to the bathroom without him by my side!) I asked him to stop following me and he said "I can't stop following you, I LOVE to follow you"

Tyler felt Zac yesterday for the first time too. The boy has recently discovered belly buttons and when pushing on mine, he got pushed back...He wasn't sure what to think of it...Now he's into playing with my 'button' all the more...

AND I was walking down the hallway out of the bathroom yesterday -- with my shirt pulled up and tucked under my bbs and my shorts pulled down 'below' my baby belly when I ran into my husband...He says "WOW, you're looking VERY pregnant and it looks like he's dropped lower already". Well with the cramping and contractions I've been experiencing that has me a little worried since I assumed they were Braxton-Hicks and I haven't timed them or anything...I did get a belly pic, but it's not the nicest since my belly (and all those stretch marks!) are exposed! Maybe I'll just wait and see if Andrew can get a belly pic later today...

Off to the Taste of Colorado using the light rail today...

Baby Shower vs. Laptop

Andrew's decided I need to get a laptop because I can't move my desk and computer to the main living area (right now it's in the bedroom, which means I can't use it at night too much--my typing keeps Andrew awake (yeah right!)).

So now we get to make the decision -- baby shower or laptop...Can't afford to do both. Since I don't really need that much for the baby and I doubt many people will show up I figured I would forego the baby shower and start saving some money towards a laptop...Then I might be able to get some things done while the baby's up and don't have to run back and forth over the baby gate to the bedroom...

I was just hoping to have a baby shower and have my last pregnancy go out with a bang! Oh well....

WhooHoo! I did it!

Yes, I finally got some sleep last night. I wish I was still sleeping, but I really shouldn't complain! I slept from 10:30 till 2 and then again from 2:30 to 4 and then again from 4:30 till 6...I am sooo groggy and feel like I could sleep for a week, but it sure feels good to have some sleep.

In other news, I'm 24 weeks today! I'll have to get some new belly shots (we'll see when I last posted some). I think I may have actually lost some weight this time around but the belly sure seems 'rounder' now...

It's a kind of busy day today. I have to take Harley to the dentist because he broke a cap off of a tooth while eating lunch at school on Wednesday (at least it's not painful), then I have to pick up paychecks...Oh it's cookie day at the bank (every Friday is)...And I'm gonna have Tyler and Harley by myself. Harley has to have direct supervision or he will stuff his mouth like a chipmunk with one of every kind of cookie...Don't know how I'm gonna stop him and still get my business done...After that we have to go to Harley's psychiatrist appointment. I think I may take the 24 hour behavior log that I have to complete...There's some stuff on there I keep forgetting to tell the psych...When you live with it, sometimes it seems it becomes just "normal" to deal with some of these things....

One of my ladies is going in for her first ultrasound...I sure hope and pray she gets good news...She so deserves this baby....Good luck

It's official!

I overdid it! I feel like spit! Plenty of contractions, my back's killing me, I'm nauseated and have a headache to top it all off!! Darn it! and I still haven't gotten everything accomplished. I did lay down and fall asleep for *drumroll* a whole HOUR!!

I am so frustrated with Andrew right now...And I can vent here since he doesn't know how to use the computer...Last time I journaled in a notebook, he found it and read it thinking it was a love letter to him. I was so offended!

Well, more on that later--Tyler's not happy right now and Andrew is running in and out. I guess my 'breaktime' is over....sigh

Now I'm back, but who knows for how long....Anyhow I am so frustrated still. Last Friday I found out that I only had one brake light on the van (the one on the top of the hatch!, the other two are not working). So I went and bought some lightbulbs and asked him to replace them. Finally Sunday he started to work on it...Was out there for nearly an hour. I figured ok, they're fixed and didn't think anything of it, since he didn't say anything....

Yesterday I was backing out of a spot and realized that I didn't have any brake lights...Ends up that he didn't replace the bulbs...He opened up the lens and 'looked at the bulb' that was already in there. Since it didn't 'look' bad (not blackened or melted), he put everything back together without replacing the bulbs...Why did I have to find that out now? What would he have done if I had gotten rear-ended and ended up getting a ticket? I would've been HOT!! Do you think he's done anything to fix it yet? Nope! Guess it's up to me to strap Tyler into the van while he's at work tomorrow and do it myself...Geeze!

Then last night Holly and I were trying to work on Harley's homework with him. Now Harley's got ADHD in addition to the autism. So what's Andrew do? He pulls out
his mini remote controlled helicopter and starts flying it around the living room (yes, he still has LOTS of toys for a boy his age!!) I had to yell at him as if he were one of the children and explain to him why he needed to stop playing with his toys right then. It took us 5 minutes to get Harley back on task...

I hung new curtains, but used the old rods...Ends up the curtains are an inch longer than where the rod is currently installed. I asked if he could move them up an inch and I got a lecture on it (since there's still holes in the wall from when the previous people literally ripped down their curtains when they got foreclosed on). Geeze, it would've been a five minute special...why'd he have to turn it into a long ol' discussion? AND the whole time we were discussing it I was running through the house gathering laundry, folding laundry, cleaning the kitchen...He just followed me around and talked .... didn't even offer to help at all!

Then I was trying to tell him of all the things on my mind and all of a sudden out of the blue, he starts in about his robotics hobby and how I should get online to look up some information about a club he heard about...Well, there's plenty of work I want done around here...And I could really care less about his fascination with robots when I have IMPORTANT things on my mind....I wish I had some time to just sit and daydream about the things I want to do!!

Oh, and of course he had to rehash the whole goings on of last night with Harley. He was still upset about it but somehow turned it into me and Harley thinking he's a monster. Umm, it's over and done I really don't need to discuss it again...No one so much as said that but of course he's got it in his head that it was insinuated by me taking over dealing with Harley after he did the take down. I feel like I just can't win!

I know there's more that's frustrating me with him right now...I don't know maybe I'm being unreasonable and hormonal, but I'm just asking for something to get done! I guess I really should be going now...He's working on homework with Harley....

So much for the confusion huh?

Well the surgeon's office called back today to schedule an appointment. Although the doctor (breast specialist) who reviewed by ultrasound results thought I needed to be seen within 7-10 days, the surgeon has decided that it's not necessary and scheduled me for September 26th...Oh well...I really don't even want to see her. I saw her a couple of days after the chemical pregnancy I had in March and she basically reamed me about why I would be wanting another child anyhow. I am NOT looking forward to seeing her again needless to say.

Today's not been a good day again...I finally got to sleep around 2AM and was up at my usual 5:45 AM and have been going non stop till I sat to write this. I am so exhausted and want to lay down, but I have a feeling as soon as I do either the phone will start ringing or Tyler will wake up. At least I can say I've gotten a LOT accomplished...Dishes, two loads of laundry, cleaned Harley's room (even got things organized into the appropriate drawers...(he's got them marked as to why 'category' toy goes into each drawer). I even got the van cleaned out since we haven't done that since the trip to the Zoo almost 2 weeks ago. Sometimes I feel like I live in the van and I just couldn't stand it anymore.

I still have to work on the paperwork, make some other appointments for the boys and get a few odds and ends picked up and put away...OH and I still have a load drying, so I'm gonna have to fold that too....

I have more I want to say, but also want to get a few more things done before Tyler wakes up...So maybe I'll be back to rant some more later on....If I can find the time!

Ahh, insomnia again! NOT!

'Nuff Said!

Harley's in the Double Digits now!!

A couple of pics I never did add:
Here's one of me at 12w6d:

Here's the ultrasound image of the baby at 10w3d


May 17, 2007
What a busy day it's been. Today is Harley's 10th birthday. . . He'll never be in the single digits again!! He insisted he had to have two cakes as a result. . . A #1 and a #0 to make the number 10!!

He's such a cool kid with a mind that never stops working! He got one present today with the rest coming on Saturday but he won't tell us what he wants and his interests change so fast! He wants 999 toys!! (his favorite number by the way!)

Today was also his field day. He did well in competing with the 'typically developing' 4th graders. He has a couple of girls who just hang all over him but you think he notices?? Heck no!! The kids in 4th grade are soo cool. . . They try so hard to try to get him to compete like they do and cheer him on with such enthusiasm!


Also today we got our 8 week ultrasound. We saw the heartbeat - much stronger than the one at 6 weeks but still not strong enough for me to be comfortable.
That's all for today. . .Too busy to write much else right now.