...more school and stuff

Harley's been excelling at school this year. He does really well with his new one on one aide...Today they were able to get the staff at CP over to the school to give his aide some training on how to deal with Harley when he gets frustrated, and they even put Harley into a couple of situations where last year, he was very frustrated, but he had a great day. He didn't even sleep at school today!! WTG Harley!!

Of course, now that he's doing better at school behaviorally he's been having more behaviors at home and CP...but those are good places to have behaviors...much better than at school.

We are already discussing options for next year (gulp!! Freshman in High School?!). I am concerned that he will not be able to handle the 'block' schedule at our 'neighborhood' school. They have just this year started a Challenge program there, so I figure sometime between now and Halloween I will start to contact them to see how it's going and what a typical day looks like. With all the budget cuts and funding issues it's not clear if we will be able to get Harley at 1:1 for next year. The staff at his current school has already started the paperwork and asked that we get ARC involved in case it gets denied. His placement for next year will hinge on his support for next year. I do not believe (nor does his current school officials feel) that Harley would be successful at our neighborhood school unless he has 1:1 -- so if the 1:1 is denied whether it be because of funding issues or his being "not bad enough" -- will guide our decision in which school he will attend in the LRE and FAPE guidelines.

Yea, I've been busy...school meetings, guiding Robert, getting ready for Kelly's 17th birthday party (and of course her driving experience as well!)...Andrew's work schedule is just as screwy as it's always been.

The end of this month we will see where Zachary stands in his speech delays. He's been doing amazing as well and may not need extensive EI support...maybe just two sessions of speech therapy a month?

The first of October Tyler will start attending school again too...his last year of preschool...it was so sweet to see his face light up when I told him that next year he will be in Kindergarten!! He's growing up so darned fast...I just know he's gonna be a learner and a leader!!

That's the most I have for an update this week. Hope since I can't seem to come and update as much as I would like (please friend me on FB as most of my news goes there now)...that I can at least stop by once a week...we'll see how that goal gets met I suppose!?

Over the last two weeks a friend and her children were supposed to move in because they were going to be homeless. Thanks to getting input from some friends I trust very much I was able to look at the situation and realize she was conning us and there was just no way we'd ever get her out of our house...not only that but after discussing it further with her she had no intention of paying a dime towards the bills that would increase as a result of adding 4 people to our household...I just couldn't have that. I may have lost someone I *thought* was a friend...but I don't think she was ever truly our friend anyhow...and either way, whether she moved in or not it would have ended badly...so may as well get it over with now right?

The good news in all that though is that a room got finished in our basement. Another section of our deck got done as well so now we have an additional 'terrace' on our deck to help with the mud pit where grass will never ever grow :D At this point it's looking like, hopefully by this time next year, each child will have his/her own room. That would be sweet. I may change the 'sitting area' in the basement into some sort of crafting area for scrapbookking and/or sewing...but unfortunately I can't keep anything like a sewing machine in Harley's sight so I don't know if that would work anyhow...we will just have to see how things pan out as we rearrange the family dynamics, room wise.

Most of you following along also know we have been struggling with secondary infertility for nearly 3 years now. I have finally let go of that and we will no longer be trying to add to our family. I am happy with the children I have and there has to be other plans for us...I am just too old to consider bringing another child into this world...especially with so many 'parentless' children out there. Again, something we are looking at for the long term so I won't even bother going into too much detail but as most of you know, we have always been interesting in trying to become a foster or host home...we will see how life progresses in the next few years...

I see there actually have been people visiting this blog so it just might be worth it to keep this blog going....I was thinking of letting it die down and eventually just shutting it down. I know I am not the most talented writer and it's probably somewhat boring but it's still a record to go back and read to remind me of what our challenges and joys were and are over the years.

Now to find an old pic ... Tomorrow IS Thursday....LOL

So many things going on...Pics to follow

Most importantly, Monday was Tyler's 4th Birthday...of course I'll get those pictures uploaded. I'm pretty damned proud of the cake I whipped together (a 3d Monster truck).

We are hosting a big party on Saturday...It will be Tyler's birthday, Harley's birthday (he turns 13 on Monday! yes, already!) and Robert's graduation (he graduates on the 21st)...So we are trying to get our deck built before then. It may not be completely done by then...we are using 'reclaimed' materials...so we need to scrape some parts, sand and put filler in a few spots (according to Andrew) and then repaint it...but as long as it's usable (doesn't need to be pretty yet right?!) by Saturday, I'll be happy....

Harley started with a new in-home OT a couple of weeks ago...one of the first things he did was check her (finger) nails and ask her if she was going to grab him and hurt him like Holly did...then I had to explain what happened with the past OT in December.

We also got word that Harley's aide is considered a 'building support' aide and will not be assigned directly to him only for next school year. Lots of paperwork and phone calls involved, but we are working on trying to get him an aide that is assigned directly to him for next year (and high school, which is an even bigger challenge).

Zac and Tyler and Harley have all been sick...they appear to be over the worst of it, but Tyler still has an awful cough holding on...

I can't believe there's only 3 weeks of school left (for Tyler, Harley and Kelly - Robert's last day of school is on the 2oth, so he has only 6 days of school left! YIPES!). Harley's all registered for summer camp already (has been since February) so we are well on the road to starting summer vacation....

Oh and Patti is insisting on putting us in for Extreme Makeover Home Edition. I guess we will go ahead (actually we already did) the paperwork to get it submitted. Just gotta find someone to do the video now. I doubt we'll get picked, especially with the work we've gotten done around the house ourselves but I guess it never hurts to try?!

Aww, they grow so fast!!

Zac loves Kelly's MP3 Player


And he loves his LeapPad too (we call it "Zac's computer!")...Look at that tripod grasp on the pen!! He's got it down!


And...Robert..he's growing up faster and faster...he went on his first 3 day "field trip"...here he is...trying on Andrew's suit!! I talked to him today and he told me how when he "revealed" himself in a suit two of the girls came up and hugged him and told him how handsome he is...then invited him to lunch at a Chinese restaurant. I can't wait til he gets home tomorrow and tells me more about his trip.


I have so many things I should catch up on and don't even know where to start. It's late, but I'll try to do a few lines...I hope they make sense....

Over the weekend we worked more on Kelly's room. We are closer to getting it insulated...we got her a Murphy bed..but it's about 4" too long to fold so we're gonna have to make a couple of changes. I am so lucky to have a handy hubby!

Her old bed (frame) was moved into Harley's room...he LOVED it when he got home announcing "it's PERFECT!" He now has a bookcase at his headboard for keeping his "Craftsman catalog"...(he collects catalogs and really, really LOVES the Sears Tool catalog! LOL)

We had to replace our sump pump..found out it wasn't working and then figured out why...because it had gotten overheated and it blew all the seals out on it.

Tonight I discovered that our sewer line has a slow leak, but only when we run the dishwasher...I gotta break the news to Andrew about that tomorrow when I see him.

Thursday we meet with Harley's school to finalize his behavior service plan..FINALLY! Tomorrow he is competing in a Special Olympics Soccer tournament and next week he's be participating in bowling (he's an amazing bowler!).

Friday I go in to the eye dr to get my visual field test so we can have a baseline and see if my vision improves, worsens or stays the same after surgery.

Then Saturday is Kelly's big day...A day she's been planning for about a month now..she is going to Six Flags for the day and then staying after dark to go through the Haunted House (I don't remember what the name of it is this year)..she and 9 of her closest friends..and she's managed to get free tickets for five of them (and herself!)

Tyler got his first perfect attendance award from school!! It has Curious George on it and he's treasuring it! It's so cool to see him so excited...now if only I could get him excited about getting up at 6:45 AM to get ready and go to school by 7:15...well then we'd be all set!

Oh this past weekend my ex was supposed to come to town to "spend time" with the kids. The weather was awful and they ended up closing some of the highways between Wyoming and Colorado..so he rescheduled for the weekend after next. Funny though...Robert came home sick from school on Friday..but when he got the call from his dad that he wouldn't be making it this weekend suddenly he felt fine and ate me out of house and home! :))...I told him I thought maybe it was stress and he needs to find some self calming techniques...

SO that's all I'm gonna write for tonight..My eyes hurt and I need to get some sleep before our long day again tomorrow!

No school for Harley today...

because he had an appointment with his psychiatrist. If you recall two weeks ago his school psychologist DEMANDED that I take him in to Childrens' Hospital for an emergency medication evaluation...which I refused...which lead to Harley getting his school days reduced from 7 hours a day to 3 hrs and 45 minutes a day. I tried to get thet behavior team who has worked with Harley (and the family) for over 4 years now and the school refused. They wanted the medication evaluated as they were SURE that it was an issue of him not being on medications of a high enough dosage.

Well, today's meeting with the psychiatrist went well...I told him that since the school was over reacting the first week of school to the hallucinations, Harley saw that as an easy out and would purposely carry them on longer than they really were. Basically he was manipulating them. (I had also told the school this). I pointed out to the school that he is not only psychotic but also autistic and they were just messing with his routine...which I in turn told the psychiatrist today and he agreed that the school has over reacted and handled this all wrong.

I signed a release at both ends for the psychiatrist to talk to the school psychologist...and he intends to tell her to allow the behavior team to come in. I explained that we have a system that works but the school was not cooperating and were falling into his "evil" plans (as Harley calls them) by letting him avoid work due to his outbursts. If they still will not allow the behavior team that has worked with Harley for 4 years come in and give them some training (at no cost to them by the way), we will call the School District's Behavior team in...who will consult with the behavior team who has been working with Harley for so long.

So playing the game they want to play...but still getting the outcome...just taking a little longer than it SHOULD have...simply because the school officials would not listen to the parents and staff who know Harley so well.

Busy days -- finally catching up!!

I've been so super busy I didn't get to do my Throwback Thursday...and then I was going to do a Flashback Friday since I missed Thursday but then Friday ended up being just as busy.

We have had such a fun (and exhuasting) week! You already know that Tyler started preschool this week. Bus service hasn't started yet so I get to drive him. I clocked it and it's a 25 mile round trip each trip...so I'm doing 50 miles a day just to get Tyler to and from school. Bus service will start on the 22nd...then it'll only be a 4 mile drive...the drive takes 45 minutes round trip as well--so that's an hour and half out of my day...and just so happens that his pick up time is smack dab in the middle of Zachary's nap time. So one of two things are going to start happening...Zac will take a short 30 minute nap (which is what has been happening--and he's been grumpy!) or he will adjust his nap times. So I haven't had as much computer time since we don't get "quiet time" at home anymore. Yesterday I got a wonderful compliment from the teachers telling me that Tyler is the 'sweetest' boy in class and that we have a sweet familiy. It nearly made me cry!

Zachary and I have been trying to make the best of the time we have together but it's not as much fun as I'd like to have...mostly because of Harley's new schedule. Once we drop Tyler off at school we have to come home and get Harley ready to go to school. I was hoping that we could drop off Tyler and then go do something as Mommy and Me with Zac...but still we are enjoying our time. On Wednesday we had an appointment and we got there early. So -- although mom doesn't make very good paper airplanes -- Zac and Mom had HUGE fun making paper airplanes and chasing them around in the waiting room. We played soccer in the backyard...just the two of us...after Harley left for school one morning. We get some wonderful snuggle time each day when Harley leaves for school and Zachary has mom all to himself. It feels so good!!

Robert's had a cold but is finally over it. One of my friends called him and invited him to a paying survey!! He got paid $50 cash for watching a movie trailer. He and his friends were so excited...then we all had dinner together. It's nice to have an extended family of teens around the house!

Kelly has had a tough week but still a good week...She broke up with her first love last week. This week she's back with him again, so her attitude is slowly improving. She's investigating the thought of being a teacher someday and signed up for a teachers' assistant class. She gets to go to first grade twice a week and help the first grade teacher with the students...doing reading, handwriting and even some one on one time with students who need extra help. She's so excited that they think of her as a "superhero" because she's a teenager! She'll be turning 16 in just over a week and on Tuesday she's getting a day off of school to go and take her drivers' permit test...and will be driving before we know it! YIKES!

Harley has had an AMAZING week! We have gone to "daily rewards"...one day was redbox movie, another day he wanted some bubble tape, another day he wanted to make chocolate chip cookies...And it's WORKING!!! He's having very mild hallucinations and not sleeping in classes. The last 3 days he's actually completed his work in math class and LA. This is the FIRST time since the start of school that he's gotten these things accomplished. I couldn't be more proud of him! He even went to CP for Music Therapy without any behaviors...and actually ATTENDED music therapy!! Not only was I shocked to hear that but the behavior interventionist was shocked as well...in FOUR years of going, this is the first time he didn't have a meltdown when he was asked to actually participate in music therapy!

So yeah, it's been such a busy week. I am thinking I might have to just do a throwback thursday a few days late...I also have a few pictures to upload that we've taken this week...not many though...I've gotta remember to keep my camera charged!!

So if I disappear for a few days, just remember I am so so busy...My schedule:
6:20 take Robert to bus stop;
7:15 leave to take Tyler to preschool;
9:00 return home and
get Harley ready to leave by 10:15;
10:45 leave to pick up Tyler;
12:15 return home from preschool; --
then on Mon Tues and Wed:
Robert & Kel get home at 3,
we leave at 3:30 to get Harley and
return home at 4:30
On Thursdays
Harley gets home on the bus at 2:30,
the OT is here from 2:30 to 3:15 and
the speech therapist is here from 3:30 to 5:30.
BUT Friday's are our "easy" day...
Harley gets home at 2:30,
Robert & Kelly get home at 3:00 and
Andrew doesn't have a dinner client so
we have some family time on Fridays.

Outcome

I am NOT happy with the outcome of the meeting yesterday. The decision is / was based on Harley being a danger to self, other students and staff--otherwise they wouoldn't get away with doing this....

Harley will now attend school from 10:45 to 2:00 (regular day is from 7:10 to 2:00, so he will miss the first 3.5 hours of school). He will start with his math class, which is being changed to a math lab class where there are only 7 students (vs. 31). This I agree with. Then he will go to lunch. His aide is NOT with him during lunch...we discussed that other students can be mean and say things to them and they vehemently denied that to be the case because "their students aren't like that" and because "there is always an adult monitor in the lunchroom, although not assigned to Harley personally". Then he will attend the 5th period class in the Challenge Program working on life skills (rather than his cooking class) where there are only 3 or 4 other students with special needs. He will end his day with his Language Arts lab class which also has 7 students (this is not a change in his schedule).

I told them that when we were discussing his placement last year that I didn't feel this school was the right setting as I didn't feel it could meet his needs. I was told at that time that they were doing a pilot Challenge program for ASD students this year at that school and that is why they placed him here anyways. They asked who I worked with and I gave them the names of the two special ed directors I worked with last year...I got the standard response of "oh we weren't aware because they are no longer with the district"...

They again refused to allow Harley's behavior therapist to come in and train them in what works for them with Harley. The psychologist at the school feels most of these issues revolve around his hallucinations and he needs a medication evaluation. Since I refused to take him to the ER -- the earliest appointment we could get was the 14th, they have decided until his meds are straightened out and we see a reduction in hallucinations this will remain his schedule, then as he shows improvement, they will add hour by hour to his day. Hopefully by the end of the school year they will have him going full days...that is the goal...

I explained that I and the behaviorist felt that although he's most likely having hallucinations he is exaggerating them because he knows how much it upsets the administration -- and then he gets his way. They said I could not make that call, neither could the behaviorist because we are not doctors...

Now yesterday I kept him home because it was the first day with the anti psychotics doubled. It turned him into a glassy eyed zombie for a good part of the morning...but still around 11:30 he began having hallucinations. I guess that's another reason this schedule makes no sense to me...Since the school reports they see the hallucinations, behaviors and violence around 11:30, they are having him start at 10:45?

They will be bussing him to school but not until Tuesday of next week. Today I will drive him to school and he will try out his new schedule. Friday we have Tyler's preschool parent orientation and my endo appointment so he won't be attending school tomorrow...which puts a real wrench in Andrew being able to attend my endo appointment with me...So today I am on the phone trying to figure out if I can find someone who is willing to sit with Harley, Tyler and Zachary...it's only for 3 hours or so...

He's at it again!

Remember that line from the Toy Story movie?

Well, yesterday I got a call from Harley's school...they are so totally over reacting! He was having more hallucinations to the point that he couldn't function. From what I'm told he was making threats to kill people...had to remove him from the classroom...and then they called me and said I needed to come and pick him up right away...that was not possible at that very moment as I was waiting for an in home visit with Tyler's preschool teacher and Andrew had the van with the carseats anyhow. The school psychologist said they are "highly recommending an emergency psych / med eval for him TODAY at Childrens' Hospital Emergency room". Three things I had a problem with with this...#1-they said it in front of Harley and #2-If I were to take him to the ER they would put him on a 72 hr psych hold -- which would just make his conditions worse and #3 it would mess up his routine and that would cause more of the autistic tendencies to come out. It is my right as his parent to refuse to take him to the ER. I did however contact his psychiatrist who was able to make a med change over the phone based on the fact that this is the third time he's been sent home from school for hallucinations. His psychiatrist agreed with me that the ER was not the best place to take him and felt the school was overreacting...this is Harley! It's not his fault, Harley's fault, the fault of the parents nor the fault of the meds that are unmanageable...it's the fault of the last school misrepresenting Harley when they transferred him to this school.

Of course I called Harley's behavior therapist too...for a few reasons there too...I had to tell them NOT to pick him up from school and tell them about the behaviors the school is complaining about. They offered to go in and provide training...they feel that although Harley probably is having mild hallucinations (which is what they see) but then he knows it upsets the school so he plays on it and exaggerates it so that he can use it as an avoidance technique for non preferred activities. I agree with them somewhat on that point, however this happened when Harley was at lunch..and we all know that eating is NOT a non-preferred activity.

However once I got him to behavior therapy he started calling people "perverts"...He doesn't know what it means and doesn't use it in the appropriate context...I asked where he learned that word and he tells me that it was what Isaac said...I BET this is what set him off yesterday.

Andrew picked him up from school yesterday when this all happened so I could greet and meet with the ladies from preschool...They were discussing making Harley attend school only half days since these behaviors tend to start between 11:30 and 12:30. So the school is simply trying to avoid is how I see that...The school psychologist said they would have a meeting that afternoon regarding "what they would do with Harley". We were not invited nor could we get his behavior therapist into the meeting (they said that they didn't want him there!?)...does this seem strange?

Since we are doubling his dose of his anti-psychotic I decided I would keep him home today for observation to see if it makes him sleepy and/or reduces the hallucinations we see at home.

BUT then the school called and asked that we keep him home today. Then asked if we could have an emergency meeting at 12:30 today. I told them I could not find childcare on such short notice. They have called in the special ed director for our catchment area, the psychologist and the principal as well as myself for this meeting. They are doing it by conference call at 12:30 today and I will be attending by phone.

I wonder just what their suggestion is going to be? Moving him to a different school? Making him attend only half days?

I have to take Harley to music therapy today...a non preferred activity so I better charge up my camera and see if I can get some video LOL

Harley's really really on a roll!

I was out trying to get Robert's cell phone activated...we've been promising him for a week that we would get him his first month of service and then I would be up to him to try to get the money from his dad or to pay for it with the stipend he gets from the Workforce center.

As I was getting out of the van at the cell phone store I decided, "oh I better take my cell phone with me...just in case someone calls with important information" (thinking my doctor may call with test results today)...

As I pick up the phone it starts to ring...It's Harley's school...the principal to be exact....she tells me that Harley became verbally abusive and physically violent and then ran away from the school. He ran across the street, nearly being hit by a car since he's got no street/community safety skills.

They were having a meeting at the school at the time and were able to gather a group of teachers that could follow Harley, try to catch him and bring him back to the school. One of the assistant principals got close to him and nearly caught him and started back to the school and Harley turned on him and kicked him. When the man bent down, Harley spit in his face...then ran again...so they were planning on calling the police to try to catch him because it was getting out of control. They begged me to help them out and I told them I could be there in about 10 minutes.

I arrived and Harley was sitting in a chair in the office. I turned to him and he swung at me..I backed him up right back into the chair. I had an open can of pop to offer to him thinking it would at least keep his mouth busy (I had already drank about a third of it). I passed the pop can to him and the grabbed it out of my hand with such force that the pop 'sloshed' out of the can and onto the main office carpet (it wasn't a lot but still). He began screaming at me that I was a 'moron' and that he would "Kill everyone!". I had him turn into the corner and took the pop from him since he was so mean. He was left in the waiting area of the main office with his aide and I was taken to the principal's office with the principal, the assisstant principal and the school psychiatrist. We discussed ways to de-escalte him, how to help him overcome his behaviors and how to prevent these kinds of things from happening...unfortunately, they no nothing could have prevented today's behavior as there really wasn't any antecedent...all he did was go into his math class and saw that they were working on the multiplication tables.

Since it was so close to the end of the day he came home with me, besides they felt it was dangerous to keep him at the school or even to put him on the bus. I will send him to school tomorrow morning while trying to contact his psychiatrist to discuss meds and get things straight. It's looking like we are going to have to slightly sedate him on a regular, routine basis to keep him even enough to function.

Tomorrow I will call his psychiatrist (he's at the north office on Fridays, but off on Thursdays) and try to get his lorezapam changed from a PRN to a regular daily dose while at school.

Harley's first day of school

5:45 AM comes early around here...we had a couple of problems with Harley because the sun wasn't up yet so he was telling me he can't go to school because it is night time. I finally get him motivated towards the shower just to find out that Tyler has dismantled the diverter to change it from tub to shower -- thankfully we have two showers so we were able to go downstairs and take a shower! He did amazingly well considering he didn't have his picture schedule and it was a different bathroom than what he is used to. He got dressed no problem...then I was able to get deodorant on him using the excuse he's now in middle school and will be a teenager soon. I may have to find a roll on type for him though since he complains of the solid 'hurting' him.

He got on the bus no problem...new bus driver and everything! He's adjusting well this year. He's so excited to think he will be a teenager soon!

He and I practiced it for a full week before he went to school. He gets to school at 7AM but his aide doesn't get there til 7:15. I have him in the routine of going to the cafeteria and waiting for her there. My mistake, with it being the first day of orientation they weren't serving breakfast but he had a notepad for drawing so he was able to keep himself busy til his aide got there! WTG Harley!

I didn't get one call all day so he must've done well. They've arranged it so that he doesn't have to move with the crowds though. He leaves each class early enough to miss the mass hysteria in the hallways and is already in his next class before the halls get crowded and loud. At the end of the day we got a phone call from his aide who said that he only had two meltdowns all day...and those had to do with his locker frustrating him (which I think I already mentioned).

Monday will be the true test...it is his first day of actual real classes...the school will be more crowded (Thursday was 7th graders only). Then directly after school he will go to CP and do his swimming activity.

I am so glad he has a good aide this year (the same one who dealt with him in 5th grade) and I know she will strive for him to do his best and be successful.

BackTrack to Wednesday

Wednesday was a slower day around here. I didn't get on the road til 10:30 and it was just to take Harley to his school, drop off his meds and do his last "dry run' of his schedule before school started officially Thursday. Considering this was only his 4th time doing it, he did amazing! He remembered all the 'landmarks' and was able to let me follow him rather than follow me. He still can't get the locker thing down -- it's just too frustrating for him -- Too many numbers to remember plus you have to remember directions too. Did you realize there's 12 steps to opening a locker combination? PLUS remembering the numbers and having to be exact about it.

We got home just in time to realize it was Wednesday (LOL) and there was my mother in law. She's decided she's going to come to the house every Wednesday from 11-2 since her job cut her schedule and she needs something to do. Not thrilled as you can tell. She claims its to help me but she can't really deal with the children and I definitely can't let her take them anywhere. Even the teens are afraid to ride with her because she just doesn't pay attention to what she is doing. I know, I need to be grateful...she will be here in time to make and serve lunch and can help with the chores...but this time around she just followed me around and talked to me while I was trying to get ready for the 1:00 meeting at the house with Harley's new caseworker. She and Harley do not get along and she can't understand a word he says so that makes it a little more difficult, but at least this was the last Wednesday that he will be here. She sincerely believes she's going to help me and let me get some rest time as my health issues seem to be taking a toll on me to the point that "outsiders" are seeing some of the symptoms.

Not meaning to ramble..and this has gone on long enough so I think I'd do a part two for this post as the next one is much more interesting.

More accomplishments!!

So many things got accomplished yesterday, we'll see if I can remember them all?!

Harley's transportation is FINALLY straightened out and he WILL get door to door transportation starting tomorrow, his first day of school! We went to his school to do a dry run and it went MUCH MUCH better this time. He's much more confident and even ventured off on his own to 'explore' the school.

Tyler is officially enrolled to start preschool in early September. He will be bussed and have a very long day...for a 3 year old anyways...he will leave at 7:15 in the morning and return at about 12:15. I sure will miss having his conversations around all that time each day though :( BUT It will be good for him!! (and ultimately good for Zac!)

Robert is registered with the workforce center - his orientation is this afternoon. They will pay him as if he was working if he maintains good grades in both his high school and votech classes. Then they will help him with job placement and further training if that's what he needs after graduating. He will be able to go to their office and get guidance on how to complete a job application (hopefully it will go better than me helping him since he thinks I don't know anything :)) ). They will pay him for however many hours he spends at their office doing job search. I think it will be a great expereince for him! His high school schedule had to be rearranged to accommodate his VoTech classes in the morning. He's got two classes, that's IT! He's already got all the classes / credits to graduate and has a couple of his favorite teachers as the end of his school year so I think he will be successful!!

Kelly got her driver's permit book to start studying and has already started studying her Japanese for this coming year! She's really on top of it. Of course I still have my struggles with her wanting "snake bites" (two piercings in her bottom lip?) or a tattoo? I'd rather the tattoo than the snake bites....we are still in the "but mom doesn't want either one" stage....

Zachary is growing by leaps and bounds and making more sounds. He's also showing more autistic tendencies. But since he couldn't hear for the first 11 months of his life, I will continue to keep an eye / ear out for what is going on with him. I'll get a lot more one on one time with him once Tyler starts preschool and hopefully we can work more towards the goals we've set.

Andrew got word that there is really nothing they can do for his knee. He was referred to physical therapy and decided against taking cortizone shots for his knee pain.

Me? I'm getting apprehensive waiting for the MRI on Friday.

Just a couple of more errands to do today and then it's time to start sending my kids off to school...Harley starts tomorrow, Kelly starts Friday, Robert has orientation at votech tomorrow and then his first day on Friday. Harley's off school on Friday and goes back on Monday and then starts up with behavior therapies 3 days a week again too.

The morning schedule is nuts. I have to have Robert to the city bus stop by 6:30...kelly has to be out of here by 6:40 to catch the bus and Harley has to be ready by 6:45...so there goes my early morning posting abilities! LOL...once Tyler starts up for school we will have to leave here at 7 to have him to the bus stop in time for the bus and then be back to pick him up at 12:15...Wow, I'm gonna be an even busier taxi...errr...mom!!

Check!

*Papers filed - check!
*copy mailed - check!
*Tyler registered into HeadStart? - check!
*Robert accepted into VoTech Hotel & Hospitality - CHECK!! Gotta go Monday to get his registration finalized and he starts on Thursday!
*Harley's still not getting into the transition class BUT we are meeting with his primary provider today at 1:00 and Monday and Wednesday and his first day is Thursday!
Harley's transportation is still a mess but following up and working on it!!

So at least I feel like I got some stuff accomplisshed today!

Now I'm gonna give you a FlashBack Friday picture beause it's such a sweet pic!

Harley in May 1999 - he's so sweet!

Gone, gone, gone!

Summer that is! I can't believe today's the last day of summer camp! Tomorrow we start taking tours of the new school with Harley. We'll do that each day until the first day of school -- which is a week from today! EEKK!

Kelly's a little upset because it dawned on her that most of her friends are seniors...so this will be her last year to hang with them...but then she also learned that NONE of her friends have the same lunch as she does except for Thursdays. She shocked me last night...coming upstairs and saying that she's studying her Japanese already! I am so glad she's determined to be a good student this year!

Robert on the other hand is feeling pretty stressed out that this is his last year of school and if he's not accepted into VoTech (which is a two year program) he will have to prepare himself for the "outside" world.

Tyler is upset that "his" school closed down here in our neighborhood. I've not gotten an answer as to IF they are opening a new one in our neighborhood. The next closest is a 30 minute drive..so unless they find a way to open a new center here in the "South" area, he won't be going this year. That's ok...Mom wants to keep him home one extra year -- and I bet Zachary would love to have him home for one extra year as well!

Now Zachary..he's picking up on signs really well. Still having a tough time getting him to SAY words, but he's trying more. He's been doing more Hand flapping and spinning which really worries Andrew and I and makes us wonder if he's also on the spectrum, but we are keeping a close eye on him. His fine and gross motor skills are ahead and since the kid couldn't hear for the first 11 months of his life...well it's no wonder he doesn't speak much!! He's suddenly pretty interested in going potty and has given us signs that he's ready but then he gets scared of the potty when he gets close to it...but he's ready...I truly believe that the days of diapers are gonna end in our house in the next six months!!

I know it's Thursday and I owe a Throwback pic to my blog...I wanted Kelly to pick one out...but I think she plans to sleep in today since Andrew's off work today. No one else is up yet today so I think I'm gonna try to sneak in a shower so the pics will just have to wait!

Been Swamped!!

Things have been so busy since my last post. Trying to get the house cleaned, the household chores caught up before this crazy week of school registrations start.

Kelly got her haircut yesterday and it's super cute...as soon as she unloads the pic from her camera phone I'll get it put up here....

The "new" middle school for Harley is already starting off on the wrong foot. First off they didn't do the forms they were supposed to do for his special bus transportation so I had to contact the directors again. Finally got it fixed and he's got an aide on the bus but they FAILED to give him door to door transportation...so back to Arc, back to the director and now still waiting for the schedule to come.

Today was his school registration. I tried to get him into the "Club" they have for 7th graders transitioning...it gives them 3 days, 2 hours a day to meet peers, get used to the schedule, use their locker, do mock schedules...over two weeks ago when I started on the back to school paperwork I asked to register him and was told that he would need to register during registration. I get there to register him today and was told that it's already full...I asked how that could be and they tell me they've been registering students since APRIL?! Liars!! I tried to register him two weeks ago and they said I couldn't!! I'm pissed!! They put him in a waiting list and then said since he's special ed they would just have his counselor take him on a school tour...NO THAT IS NOT GOOD ENOUGH!!!! He should be able to and given priority to particpate with peers to get the full effect with noises and all!! So I said fine, let me talk to his counselor and get it straightened out...umm...sorry, she's not in till Thursday or Friday of this week....GRRRRHHH!!!

They are making this transition harder and it's really really frustrating!!

I can't believe it's almost over?!

This is the last full week of camp for Harley. Monday he registers for school and transition classes...Monday Robert registers as a high school senior!?!? Kelly's a sophmore...her registration is on Tuesday. Also on Tuesday Zac goes in for another hearing test!! Then I get a little bit of downtime...well not really because that's when school supply shopping (which I shouldn't have much as I've been stocking up on all the clearance sales all winter / summer) and some clothes shopping...

BUT I can't believe we are just two short weeks from the end of summer vacation. No tubing trip this year because of the dangerously high waters and many deaths, even professionals due to drowning...and fast waters.

We are going vehicle shopping on Thursday or Friday this week. (Shooting for Thursday since Harley's in camp). The van we bought a few months ago has turned into the Money Pit so rather than sink another $800 and still not have everything fixed, we have decided to just buy a different vehicle using that money as a down payment instead while trading in this piece of crap. Too bad the cash for clunkers program only covers new cars...that would've been quite the deal for us...but a new vehicle is a little more than we want to pay...I'd rather have NO vehicle payment at all...but that's just not possible right now. Now that we have decided that we are NOT adding to our family unless some miracle happens for us we are able to look at smaller, newer vehicles. Now that our children are growing bigger we don't need as much cargo room either...and I feel like we would be better served with bucket seats as the second row to keep Harley at least arm's reach from all the other passengers.

Now, I have a few pictures to share too....
The boys really, really missed Kelly while she was in Lake Powell..this is her first night home....(really her first hour!)

Zac has some of the greatest facial expressions! Since he still does not speak more than just Mom, Dad and sometimes Milk...we count on them (and so does he!)

And as depressed as I've been he still has the gift of making mommy smile

Four more down

Got a call that Harley is going to get an aide on the bus...they also said they would request door to door transporation but were questioning it. We'll see..I'll be calling early next week to confirm that transporation received the 1066.

Tyler's form for headstart is done and ready to be picked up too.

All of Harley's meds are now finally, officially at ONE pharmacy rather than 4 different pharmacies.

Oh and there's a place here in Denver that does "energy grants" to convert your home from gas/electric usage to solar, wind or geothermal...so we applied...the worst they can do is say no right? We should find out in the next 4-6 weeks if we were selected for them to come out and do an evaluation to see if we are good candidates for their program! Wouldn't that be great? Save money on our energy bills as well as teach our children how to live greener!!

Tuesday...

hasn't been so bad--nothing like yesterday...got one more thing off my list (Harley's medication form from his school)...haven't gotten the busses figured out yet, but it's still in the works and I did my follow up on it to make sure something wsa happening.

About 4:00 we finally got word that they are issuing Andrew's vacation pay check. We can pick it up sometime tomorrow.

Mentally, emotionally and physically I'm not doing real well. Tyler was up screaming last night so he ended up in our bed. Then about 30 minutes later Zac woke up screaming and I couldn't get him calm...I think it was because Tyler wasn't in his bed because Zac kept looking over at Tyler's bed and crying hysterically! So I ended up sleeping on the couch, Zachary on the living room floor (the only place he would lay with me)...and Tyler in my bed with Andrew. Altogether I think I slept about 2 1/2 hours last night. With Tyler on the loose there's no way I could possibly get a nap in today...not that I didn't try but he proved to me that even a 5 minute power nap was not for me! That's ok...I'll catch up or adjust...

I had a rough morning having my little pity party for myself. I stayed back from posting on the boards and talking to people as much as I could...I sure wish my mental health appointment was tomorrow..but it's Thursday so I just gotta remind myself that it's only one more day and maybe I will get something that will give me relief from the anxiety...My physical symptoms hit me hard this morning and by 5:00 I was staggering like I was drunk...I don't know it could've been exhaustion...I just want an answer and right now the one that the symptoms are pointing at is a tough answer to swallow...but...since nothing's official then it's really nothing to worry about right?

Tomorrow's my last day to finish this week's paperwork...Thursday we have to have Harley to camp at 7:30 AM for white water rafting *gulp* and Andrew wants to take the two little boys, me and him and go on another date like we did a few weeks back. It sounds like fun...but then again it may seem like I'm much less stressed when I go to mental health and they'll be like what are you a drug addict?

Friday sometime Kelly comes home..probably late afternoon. I hope she took lots of pictures...she took my camera so we've been lacking on pics with the camera I have here at home since it's got it's issues. One of these days I am gonna upgrade again!

School Registrations...Already?!

I spent Wednesday morning on the phone. It sucks let me tell ya..the frustration builds more and more with each phone call...

Robert's decided he doesn't wanna do culinary arts program at votech..well he's on a waitlist to start it in SEPT!! He wants to switch to hospitality (which was his 2nd choice). So I call his counselor for spec ed at school...nope, he's not in til the 13th (school starts on the 24th!)..Ok, so I called votech direct....the person I need to talk to doesn't return til Monday. GRH!! These are spec ed people/counselors so I thought...well guess not!!

So I call Harley's school...Harley's more specialized spec ed right? He's transitioning into a new school (middle from elementary)...when we had his transition meeting in May...his primary provider told us she would be in all summer long. I call to talk to her about getting ready for transition and she's not in till the 14th!! UGH! Double UGH! There's a transition class that starts on the 17th I wanted to get him enrolled in but I can't enroll him til registration on the 10th. I have to make arrangements for a private aide to be with him since this is an 'extra' bonus class they are holding for all 7th graders...that won't give me much time...

This is the first time since he started school in preK that he is going to a 'neighborhood school'...he's always been what they consider an out of area placement. He's considered special needs transportation and gets an aide on the bus as well as door to door pickup. I called transportation and was told "nope this year he is riding with the regular kids and he is being picked up where everyone else is picked up"....IF he has to ride the regular bus, I have to have him there *gulp* 6:45 AM ... with two little ones and trying to get the teens motivated to catch their bus as well...PLUS it takes over an hour to get him ready to go in the AM...His IEP DOES outline that he is supposed to get "special transportation"--due to his behaviors and flight risk...he still needs help simply walking in a parking lot!!

So I called ARC...I wasn't sure if the special transportation was cut because of the budget cuts, if it was an oversight or if it was because he's now in middle school? Patricia tells me that since it is marked on his IEP that he is specialized transportation then the incoming school was supposed to have submitted a form at the end of last year to notify transportation. Obviously it was not done and there is no one at the school to get this straightened out. So once again, I get to contact the Area Spec Ed Director...Ok, sure I have her number (and her supervisors' number as well)...Ends up everything was restructured over the summer and now I have a different person to deal with GRH!! I left her a voice mail since she's out til Monday while the ARC advocate also contacted her via email and a voice mail.

In light of the budget cuts, I have agreed to *try* this year without a bus aide (but still with door to door transportation--his school aide will meet him at the bus to ensure he crosses the parking lot safely). I agreed under the auspices that IF he receives an infarction that would put his school bus transportation at risk then we will request an aide...but until we have proven that he can't do it without an aide I'm willing to try it without one.

I am just so frustrated....What is with these people? I mean I plan all this stuff well ahead of time and try to get him prepared for the transition but I can't without their help...School starts for Harley in just over 3 weeks and all I know at this point is what school he's going to!!

I started on Tyler's headstart paperwork too...gotta get his dentist and his ped to fill out the other forms before I can complete the registration...GRH!! At least I'll go to that dentist on the 4th with Kelly so I can get them to do it then, but the ped's office says to drop the form off two weeks before you actually need it!! UGH!! More waiting for other people to finish my paperwork!! Of course we have to go back to the ped tomorrow in follow up to Tyler's ER visit on Thursday of this week....I'll come back to update about that too!

Bad luck? Evil forces? (sorry a rant/vent)

It's been rough the last couple of weeks...probably part of the reason I've not made too many entries on my blogs but ya know, I'm sick of not having anyone to "talk" to...I just need some support - even if it's only via internet...

Andrew and I have been arguing quite often over the last two weeks...about stupid crap...things like the toys in the back yard aren't picked up and organized...but really, don't I have enough crap to keep up with in the house and everywhere else? It's not like anyone sees the backyard - it's surrounded by 6' privacy fence and it's viewable from the street...anyways one of the 'comments' he made was how we are all such slobs and don't care....so I worked myself into the ground trying to make sure everything was spic and span...then he gets angry because I never sit down...Well I feel like everything needs to be spotless at all times so that he doesn't feel the need to call us slobs. After all last time he called us slobs was because the hgh chair was still dirty from lunch time...whatever...I'll end this part there...

The kids get back from visiting their dad and announce how they plan to go up there every month. Really? How are they gonna get there? Well, their dad tells them that they can ride the greyhound anytime...well he left out that they don't go anywhere near Casper nor did he tell them that a one way ticket is $99 EACH - ONE WAY!! Now they think I'm trying to keep them from seeing their dad...I'm not willing to spend my money and drive my vehicles to see him...HE's the one who decided to move up there...He's not paying a dime in child support...if he wants to see his kids he can make arrangements (monetarily)...BUT he won't and would rather blame me for his not seeing his kids...

Kelly got into a fight with her two BFFs a couple of weeks ago. I have been trying to spend more one-on-one time with her because I fear she will get depressed. She seems to be handling it well and has moved on to more "desirable" friends anyways...She was going down the "emo" road and has been slowly coming out....It's nice to see more smiles and see her wearing something other than black and dark eye makeup. But still, I worry....

Then our "new" van needed basically a new front end...got a quote of $1200...took it to my friend's uncle who is a retired mechanic who recently shut down his automotive shop (but still has all the eqiupment) and he was able to get it done for $500...but then tells me we need new brakes and tires...there's another $500...

So we were driving our old van, which also needed new tires. We could only get 2 tires for it because we had to pay for the repairs on the other van...well since it's an AWD vehicle, we've got to put all 4 tires new, matching on it or it will ruin the transmission...ok, there's another $200...we're up to $700 now....

Then our old van needed a smog test to get new plates...Great...no problem right? WRONG! It FAILED it's test...My friend's uncle doesn't touch that kind of stuff so he's going to refer us to his friend that does. I looked up a new EGR valve and that alone is going to be nearly $200...plus labor....so now we're up to at least $900 for repairs/tires for our vehicles....

Well, I've been trying to plan a little vacation -- just 3 days!! for us to get away from the stresses of home. I'd love to take a longer vacation but that's about all Harley can handle. We were just going to go somewhere here in Colorado...but with both of our vans needing this much work we can't really drive them too long of distances till they get fixed...and there goes our 'vacation' money...

Until we can get our second van on the road (gotta pass the smog test!) I'm gonna have to get up at 6...so much for sleeping in just a little this summer...I'm gonna have to get up and drive Andrew to work then come back and get the 3 younger kids ready and take Harley to camp every day (except Friday)....Yeah, I'm gonna destressify my life this way right?

Now on to the other thing I don't typically talk about here...we are still kind of ttc, not as active as we were but still trying to at least dtd during the right time frame and hope for the best...for some reason Andrew can't seem to get it "going" during O time but any other time of the month he can?! WTH is that all about? It just feels like a sign...

I did finally get rid of the last of our baby stuff. I cleaned out Zachary's drawers and even got rid of that stuff too....typically I save that stuff for our "hopeful" baby...but I have nothing left...Got rid of the equipment, the clothes, everything!! I am sad over that but thought it might help me to give up on this...I still can't give up....I WANT to give up but when I mention that to Andrew he gets upset and says "you're just giving the evil their way"....Come on already...it's been almost 19 months and I have yet to get pregnant with a viable pregnancy -- six losses in those 19 months are enough. I don't know how much more I can do this...

Then of course we have Harley's 'bug bites'...they seem to be getting worse and worse. The one on his arm is now the size of a football...the benadryl is not helping with the itching and we can't do topicals on him (between his licking them - he's got PICA you know, he likes to lick EVERYTHING!) and his sensory issues. Oh yeah, so far as the sunscreen, he's allergic to paba, which reduces which brands we can use (did you know how many brands use paba?) Typically we get him the spray on kind because he can't stand being "rubbed" on...and then we get him the 'stick' kind for his face since you can't do the spray on the face. Andrew thinks the dr may have misdiagnosed it. She basically said since she didn't see any ticks that it couldn't be lyme disease...BUT we found something we thought was a tick...she looked at it and said "no it's just a scab that's infected and that's why it looks like a tick bite"...Andrew still thinks it's a tick bite but with all the scratching Harley's done he's scratched the head off of it and that's why it's just the scab looking spot. So he'll be going back to the dr today....

Recently we have been having more and more violent outbursts from Harley. We think it may be the abscense seizures as when he comes out of them he gets violent. With these types of seizures it's hard to tell if he's hallucinating, being autistic or having seizures. I've talked to his nurse and dr and these types of seizures are not detectable on an EEG so there's no sense in trying to see how often he's having them that way. I tell ya it's making me re evaluate our desire for another baby. My heart aches for another baby but if he continues to get out of control and have to be sedated....is that really an environment to bring a new baby into? It was so bad yesterday that we had to remove Tyler and Zachary from the room -- and even though the 'episodes' happen in the house, they are loud enough and with us being on a corner, visible enough that the neighors feel it's necessary to take their children inside. I've gotta remember to ask his psych today if he could have tourette's with the nasty words he spouts off? I wish I knew what it is that's been making him violent out of no where....It might be something I could do something about if I knew...

Of course I'm also stressing about Harley and his success at his new middle school next year. He's getting more and more violent and emotional if someone makes a comment like "you're a freak"...and I KNOW middle school students aren't very nice...I hope he can make it through. I could never keep enough of a routine/schedule to home school him...and I don't want to send him away. We are considering keeping him mildly sedated all the time...and that is something I've tried to avoid for many, many years...but it's now getting to the point that he is a physical danger...and the next step would be out of home placement and I'm not even ready to visit that....

Well this is much too long for anyone to completely read through anyways. I've been holding it in for weeks and feel like I'm just gonna explode if I don't get it out somewhere...I feel so alienated on so many of my boards that I just am not comfortable asking anyone for advice...besides the people who were visiting my blog to tell me how daft I am and how crazy my famly is are on some of those boards and I really don't need people name calling and making me feel like dirt....I'm doing a pretty good job of that myself. I am still on my anti depressants but wonder if I should be investigating something stronger...which would definitely put an end to trying for our last baby....and again I just don't feel ready to give up on that completely quite yet...not till September when my prescription for progesterone runs out and the dr won't renew it...that's only 3 more months anyhows...

I hope someone read through the whole thing and can tell me I'm truly not crazy...It's just a run of bad luck or the evil working against us and we will make it through, be stronger in the end....

Harley's meeting...

Yeah, I'm behind - this was last Thursday's update :)


Harley's meeting went well. We had to take Harley with us and he acted so very psychotic in the meeting the school and the sp ed director was like WHOA this is NOT the same kid that the "other" school described to us...even the spec ed director who has observed him was like, WOW, I only observed him once, and he was NOTHING like this!? They asked if he had a change in meds and I said he's on clonodine (which is a calming med!) and they were like Oh, well, that's not working now is it? (sigh)...At least I got the main teacher that is responsible for Harley next year to agree to give me her email addy and we can use that in addition to the back and forth book...Oh, and his 1:1 aide will be the same one as last year (not this year) and she's a retired ASD teacher and knows how to put Harley in his place and keep him there, so I think we'll have more success.

The only thing that really concerns me is that Harley's IEP outlines that he have 2.5 hours a week of speech therapy and they don't have a full time speech therapist so he may end up with an SLPA during a couple of his classes. They feel they are going to have a hard time meeting his goal of 2.5 hours a week and they may need to reduce it. Of course, I have a call into the ARC advocqtae to see what she feels is appropraite. There are so many budget cuts that they just can' tstaff the schools full time with a SLP so they are using the SLPs as consult only and having them guide the SLPAs...

So that's the big update...He took a bunch of pictures and I've been busy trying to work on how I'm going to create the social story since he's going to want the pictures in the same sequence he took them in (and of course he had to take pictures of every machine he saw, from staplers to hole punchers to copy machines!) Guess I can create a page that says "these are machines in the teacher's work room but not for Harley to use?" LOL

I have a couple more updates and I'm sitting taking a breather, so I'm gonna try to catch up...