Friday, April 25, 2008

A change of heart?

I am exhausted but after all my ranting and raving today, I thought it would be nice to end the night on a great note:
 
About 3 hours ago now, I got a 'sensation' that everything was going to be ok with this pregnancy and the baby. I can't really put the feeling into words...But I decided to re-analyze the 'symptoms' I was having earlier today.
  • Dizziness is my #1 pregnancy symptom
  • The pain did not go away with tylenol because it was from gas and constipation (more pregnancy symptoms, right?). I've never heard of Tylenol taking away gas pains! LOL
  • Nausea...well this is being caused by my heightened sense of smell...keep counting the pregnancy symptoms...that makes 3 now--I think I'm going to stop counting now.
  • The bloating is BAAACK! I never thought I would be excited to be bloated!
  • A mom on the Dec08 birth board was complaining of chills today too...so maybe that's a pregnancy symptom too?
  • Heartburn...if it was brought on by stress, Zantac wouldn't have helped...but Zantac did!!
  • Exhaustion...a couple of weeks ago I was stressing thinking "uh oh, where's the exhaustion of early pregnancy?" Well-It has hit me now! It's not even 9 and I'm ready to turn in for the night...AND I slept more last night (and today got a nap in too) than I've slept in the two days previous...and am still exhausted!  This leads me to believe that either my dates really are off or maybe the baby just implanted late?
  • A dear friend from my Large Families Board sent me a very enlightening email showing that just because there's low numbers and an empty sac this early doesn't mean it's over!!
  • Another dear friend from my Dec06 loss board shared her story about her early pregnancy too and it sounds so simliar to what I am experiencing...Her son is nearly 5 months old!!
  • The peeing's always been a good sign...and still, no bleeding and no sign of pink, red, brown...just nice thick white stuff!  Ooops, TMI there! LOL
  • And a couple of my friends from TTC after Dec 07 babies really helped too by showing me and telling me of their experiences.
  • OK, I admit it...going to $tree and buying some HPTs and seeing a BFP immediately helped my attitude as well. I was feeling somewhat better before that, but that made me take the deep breath I've been needing to take for days...the big deep breath of relief.  I did stock up on a few to get me through till my ultrasound on Wednesday...just to make sure it's staying dark (I don't think it could get darker!)...I shouldn't have done it, but I think if I start to fret again, it will put me at ease a little faster...
It sucks that each of the ladies I credit above have all had losses in the past...but it is nice that I have been able to connect with them so that I have other women who know exactly where I'm coming from! 
 
I hope that this excitement I feel now sticks with me till my ultrasound on Wednesday...and beyond...I am feeling hopeful enough that I don't even want to think of the things I was thinking earlier...Gotta send some Good Karma to my Andi-bean!!
 
And finally, I MUST thank L. from the Dec06 loss board...when I told her...she gave me the thought that maybe it was that very moment that Andi's heart started beating...the thought of that gave me chills, great feelings and tears of joy!  She may just have something there!
 
EDIT: just realized that I need to add "pregnancy brain" to the list above LOL!!
 
Please, let all this excitement and good feeling mean something!!??

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Tracy,
I just got finished reading your blog and I'm so glad to see that you're feeling better. I agree wholeheartedly with all of your points...those are all pregnancy symptoms. I loved what you said about the person saying about that being the point where the heart started beating. That's so cool!
Magie

dance_flower said...

Tracy-YOu did not stir up any feelings! I am so sorry that you are going through the emotions...pg sometimes is just not fair! I had a really rough week at work, and one of my students wanting to kill himself...it was so hard! Thanks for your kind words and friendship! Remember, if you want to chat I am always just an email away.....