Saturday, January 12, 2008

PPD Sucks!

How could I possibly be suffering from PPD? Two straight days of crying...I have a beautiful one month old, a wonderfully active toddler and Harley in my life as well as the Robert and Kelly...I am so frustrated with my DH right now...I don't want to give up on the thought of having more kids, but he's afraid of 'what will other people think'...WTF? What does it matter? He keeps giving me mixed signals! I sure wish I had never learned anything from FF b/c now I'm just more frustrated! I broke the news to DH that I will no longer be sleeping with him till this frustration is over..I just go to bed so hopeful that he'll be interested in dtd sometime ... but...then I wake up frustrated and he just doesn't understand...Hell I don't even think I understand!!

Well, baby's crying (it's his time for mommy to wear him) and Tyler and Harley need their breakfast...

I doubt anyone's reading this but it sure feels good to feel like I have a friend somewhere in the world...I'm feeling so alone in all this right now...It sucks when you feel like your only BFF is the computer! I've never wanted the support of my mom before...Why do I want it now? Especially knowing she's been gone for over 8 years now...Well, thanks blogger for being there and letting me vent....

2 comments:

Barb said...

Tracy, I'm sorry you are feeling blue! (((((HUGS)))) Have you seen you doc for your ppd? If so, did he give you anything? I felt like you did after one of my m/c. I was weepy and overly sensitive and didn't want to get out of bed. My doc gave me Zoloft, I think? I only took half a pill and for a very short period of time. I kept myself busy and did my best in not stressing over the fact that I thought I wouldn't be able to give my new dh kids of his own. He wanted 6 and I couldn't even give him one! Well, after trying for 5 yrs. I finally got pg and only after throwing in the towel on the ttc business. Dh and I agreed on trying to have 3 kids since we did get married a little late in life. I told him I'd gladly give him more if we'd have twins or triplets. But no more than 3 single pg's. My mom seems to think I'm too old to be trying to have another. She worries that something could happen to me or my unborn baby. I'm tougher than she thinks. I've had 7 pg's that have ended in m/c. But on the brighter side, I've been blessed with 4 wonderful dd's. I hang out with homeschooling moms and let me tell you some of these families are huge! They have 6 0r 7 kids and have the bare minimals. One lady is having her 6 or seventh one and they live in a one room home. Another is due in a couple of months and she has not been to a doc. She has delivered all her kids at home (7) with the help of her dh. She doesn't believe in doc. All their kids are well behaved, do well in school and are very friendly. I don't think they care what anyone thinks of them. How many kids would you like to have? Dh? I think you both need to talk and compromise. Tell him not to worry about what other ppl think. Who cares! It's what you both want and agree on because it's you two that will be taking care of them not the other ppl. Anywhoo, I think I've blabbed enough. Smile and have a great day! Remember you choose the kind of day you are going to have. Enjoy your kids!
Blessings, Barbara

Stormy said...

Hey Tracy! I'm sorry you've been feeling blue. The issue's with DH not wanting to DTD makes it even harder. *HUGS* sweetie and you know that you are loved!!!

~Nikki BBC