Yup, a day behind...Things have been going that way for the last two days...So here's my RANT about what happened a couple of days ago...Yesterday wasn't any better and I really want to get if off my chest....I guess that's why there's gonna be a part II (LOL). Even if no one reads either of them, this is the safest way to journal around here!
So after *trying* to keep a good attitiude I'm gonna totally ruin it!! I just can't keep up! It just doesn't matter what I do, there's always someone in this house mad at me for one reason or another....Tuesday Andrew was yelling at me for not being able to control my hormonal emotions so we got into a big ol' fight in the mall..Which continued to outside and all the way throught he parking lot. Finally I had to tell him to stop yelling at me and just let me drive!!
Then we get home and Robert's in tears and refuses to come in...He always sees our house as the 'safe' place and after what he deals with with his dad, it really upsets him when Andrew and I argue and just doesn't feel so sure of anything in his life anymore!! We are his safety net...We really only rarely have arguments like this...I hate when he feels like I pulled his safety out from under him!
Then of course it all sets off Harley who goes into fits telling dad what a bad guy he is because he made mom cry and he needs to stop yelling and calm down. Then Harley asks "Dad, why you so mad at mom?"...Andrew tells him it's because he's an asshole...NOT a good thing to be saying to Harley so I told him to cut it out...(Yes, I get yelled at again because I'm telling him he's a worthless parent by asking him not to talk to Harley like that!!) Harley takes these kinds of comments to heart... I NEVER ONCE!! said anything to Andrew to that effect, he just takes every little 'yes' or 'no' as a complaint lately! I can't take it anymore!! I didn't say anything but 'yes' but I guess it was the 'tone of voice' A simple "yes" answer was all it took for him to "hear" me call him a cold uncaring ass????? Hmmm, I guess I can't even say that much....But if I don't respond at all I'm not listening and I'm a cold uncaring wench....I guess I should just let it go? It's so hard...Doesn't he realize how much it hurts when he claims I call him all these names? I don't know what monster has crawled into his head....
Then he tops it all off with telling me how he should know that I am hormonal and inbalanced right now and dealing with a lot...That could have soothed me, but he just HAD to add that he's sooo glad this is the last pregnancy and he won't have to deal with this again...Wow, thanks for all your support!
Needless to say, a rough night...Wednesday wasn't too much better....Today's Thursday and he has his difficult client (more on that later too!)..But hopefully I can make it better...for both of us!!
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