A glimpse at my dysfunctional family-would you be depressed?

here, I am going to vent/explain, I'm sure it will be long and really don't expect anyone to read through it but maybe it will help me to get it off my chest?
It's really long...please no "tracy bashing" for putting it out in public? If you don't have anything nice to say, I'd rather you say nothing at all ok? I am depressed enough and don't need any help going further down the valley...

But with this whole blow up yesterday...first it started b/c I told my Andrew to go and take a nap while the house was quiet. Well that is a 'trigger' for him...he hates being told to lay down when it's quiet...even though his work schedule only allows him to sleep about 3 hours at night..PLUS he was getting grumpy and complaining about everything, which I know is a sign of his being overtired. I was only asking that he lay down for everyone's good, not to trigger his bipolar tendencies. So I got blamed for that and he started to yell...well that upset my 17yo...my 1st Andrew and I fought quite a lot so any kind of voice raising really upsets him (and he has an anxiety disorder to begin with!). So he came upstairs and yelled at Andrew to stop and to leave me alone. Well, then Andrew started yelling at him and I was trying to stop them both PLUS deal with the littles so they didn't have to witness/hear all this crap going on...
I finally get them separated, or at least I thought so...I left the bedroom while Andrew was literally yanking his hair out of his head...then he starts talking about how he wished he had a gun to hurt himself...all this because I suggested he take a nap?? So he says he's gonna go for a drive...Nope, not if you are feeling that badly, I don't think driving is a good idea...take a walk around the neighborhood...of course that starts round two of the argument b/c I won't "let him do anything"...which brings Robert17 upstairs again...on his way up he punches the wall and leaves a HUGE hole in my stairwell...great!! Now I have another house repair to do...and if I ask Andrew to do it, it will just make him angry b/c my son is the one who put it there...never mind what caused him to put it there...

Well, they go at it again...Robert tells Andrew to "get the hell out of the house and quit upsetting mom"...Andrew takes him down to the ground and they start to fight...in the meantime the phone rings...I am still crying but have to answer the phone...it's the school principal telling me the outcome of the investigation, details of the suspension and the ticket...and setting an appointment to have the officer come to our house with the school psychologist to issue the ticket and further discuss it. (in the middle of all this, my son and Andrew are still wrestling around and hollering at each other, plus I'm trying to make sure the littles are staying safe and not witnessing this crap!)..So I was back in the little's bedroom to finish the phone conversation and everything goes quiet...Andrew goes into my bedroom and closes the door, Robert has taken off and we have no idea where he's going or when he'll be back...He has his cell with him but won't answer it and the principal wanted to speak with him...how am I supposed to explain he's not home?! I also had to explain to the principal that I did get my Robert medical treatment and have finally been able to get him put on an anti-anxiety/anti-depressant (although I may end up getting charged with contempt of court over this, my son's mental health is more important than my ex husband's idiotic ways!)

I no sooner finish that conversation and the phone rings again, this time it is the State Health Dept...finally following up on the investigation of the OT that injured Harley back in December. They wanted to speak to me first, and then Andrew since Andrew was the one who actually witnessed the incident. I spent over 45 minutes on the phone with them, then had to fax and email them the pictures of the bruises, fingernail marks/scratches and the behavior plan that the OT didn't follow...THen they talk with Andrew for another 45 minutes...In the meantime, Harley gets home from school wanting to go to Blockbuster because that'w his behavior reward on Fridays...I can't drive so I can't take him and Andrew refuses. We finally finish with the Health Dept business and Andrew tells ME to go and lay down. I refused, I had to keep an eye on the kiRobert, do some laundry, dinner, etc...I had things I had to get done. This starts the yelling all over again...which then upsets Harley...I feel like I just can't win at this point. I walk away from Andrew and deal with Harley and calm him down...get him started on a PS2 game...

Andrew gets on the phone with a friend of mine and asks her to come over and "help" me with the kiRobert so he can take off for a couple of hours. I told him first off I don't need help with the children...I can deal with them just fine..and secondly she is trying to get her house in order for the birthday party she is hosting (today's party) and is having a tough time emotionally with her husband as well so she doesn't need the added stress of coming over here! He tells her "never mind, she doesn't want you here"...OMG, just cost me a frienRoberthip why don't you? You could've explained it better than that!!

I tell him he is still not calm enough for me to be comfortable with him leaving on his own...I just didn't think he was in the right state of mind to be driving...So he went to sit in the master bedroom while I did the chores and dealt with the kiRobert. Once dinner was ready I got the kiRobert set up and fed and offered for him to come and eat with them. He asked if I was eating (I was still crying at this point) and I said not right now, I just don't feel well. So he refuses to eat. FINE!! Whatever, act like a child!! I snatched the van keys myself and took a drive (a whole block away) to go and get some hot chocolate mix...My Robert follows me on his scooter to "check up on me" because I'm "not supposed to be driving"...Just BITE me at this point!!

I get back home and Andrew starts in AGAIN with how I set him off by telling him to nap...and how I just don't understand why that upsets him...I DO understand why it upsets him, but I was trying to make him see my point that he was getting edgy, grumpy and needed to sleep ... I was only asking him to consider it because I care, not because I was trying to "get rid of him"...I just can't win!! So again, he starts to yell at me...He starts complaining about having a headache (well he probably gave himself a concussion between fighting with Robert and is manic behaviors!) and says he will relax...OK, FINE! I put the littles to bed and by the time I come out he is laying on the living room floor complaining of being cold. I offered to get him a heated blanket and he refused any sort of blanket...fine...whatever...

Well he falls asleep (note: this is what started the whole damned argument!). Well he's one of these people that if you so much as turn on the TV it bothers him (oh and of course, my typing on the keyboard is loud enough to wake him too and if he's woken up he gets all defensive about how he's tired and neeRobert to sleep sometime!)...so I go back to my room and watch TV back there until Harley starts to pace around and start eating food that he's not supposed to eat (I forgot to lock the refrigerator). So I go back out to the living room so I can keep an eye on what Harley's doing and Andrew wakes up as Harley walks by and says he's gotta go and lay down...gets up and goes to bed...Then gets upset with ME because I can't go to bed at that very moment (well, I DO have to keep an eye on Harley for crying out loud!!)...

kelly gets home from her movie and tells me that her boyfriend backed out on her at the last minute and sent his brother in his place...This was to have been their first real date...Andrew sleeps til 10:30 (he's supposed to be to work at 10:40) and rushes around and then starts snapping about how Kelly's not home yet...I told him she was home and she was in her room....He leaves for work and I finally go to bed...

Now after all this crap happening everyone wakes up today like it's a whole new world and nothing ever happened. I still have it all fresh in my mind and am trying my damnest to figure out what I can do to fix it all...and I feel so helpless...there is nothing I can do but walk on eggshells and act like I don't care if Andrew doesn't get any sleep...and deal with his bad attitudes towarRobert me and the kiRobert when he's so tired and really could use the sleep...What the hell am I supposed to do?!