Where to begin - Zac's surgery and Harley's suspended???

OK, so my day started at 4:30 this morning...It's been a long day...



Zachary came out of surgery just fine...well except for screaming for an hour straight! The nurses insisted he had to drink the apple juice they gave him...I finally said, if you have some purple grape (not white grape) he'll tear it up and stop crying...They were able to track down some cran-grape and he drank a full 6 oz in less than 2 minutes he was so thirsty. They also still had the IV in his foot with a big ol cast on it which just pissed him off...he can't even stand socks and shoes on his feet...I finally got him sitting up, smiling, laughing, playing peek a boo and even said momma a couple of times and they finally let him go. We were at the hospital from 9:30 this morning until 2:00 this afternoon...Tyler and Andrew came along too and Andrew didn't know what to do with Tyler while I was in the recovery area with Zachary...so the nurses came in and I had to write down some directions (they didn't want to be responsible for remembering everything)...Andrew ends up letting Tyler take a 2 hr nap...so I'm sure I won't get to go to bed anytime before 11 pm now...GRH!



We head to the pharmacy to pick up Zachary's meds--a 45 minute wait for the meds so Andrew and I get some subway and some grocery shopping in...



Kelly calls and wants to know which friends can come over for the weekend...I hear the phone ring in the background and Robert answers that one...Then he grabs the phone from Kelly and says "Some chick just called from Harley's school and he's throwing chairs and desks and they don't think it's safe for him to stay at school. The principal is sending a note home". I ask ok, are they sending him on the bus or do I need to pick him up? -- Robert says "I don't know"...So I try to get off the phone and call the school...in the meantime the school is calling me on the call waiting...



I tell them that we are waiting on Zachary's meds since he just had surgery we need to have them...and that with driving time it would be about 30 minutes before we could get there to pick him up. They said "No problem"....



I'm stressing out at this point...So many (too many) things going on at once and I'm getting a stress headache and my neck is killing me...



Get the meds and drive as fast as I can to Harley's school...in the meantime, Kelly's calling asking if I can stop and pick up her friend Rachel on my way home (since I was driving right past her house it wasn't going to be a problem)...



Andrew goes into the school to collect Harley while I wait outside in the van with the two little boys. Harley comes out ahead of Andrew all smiley and jovial?! Didn't look like any problem at all? Andrew talks to the principal who just keeps passing the buck that it was up to the psychologist to deal with these kinds of problems with Harley and that she was not at school today...OK, so they have no backup for when these things happen?



Andrew mentions that we had asked for a behavior plan and the 'team' felt he only needed an inhouse one, not an official one as part of his IEP...The principal tells us that we'll have to take that up with the psychologist...I'm about to pull my hair out....



Andrew then explains that it's essential because we don't need to get called by the police one day saying so and so is filing charges because their child was "attacked" by Harley...The principal informs Andrew at that point that he has already gotten calls from two parents with "concerns" about reports of Harley inappropriately touching female students...WHHAATT!!??? How come this is the first time we've heard about this? What is this school trying to pull on us? they could've AND SHOULD'VE TOLD US that this had happened...I guess one student he hugged a little too tightly (hugging is against the rules in his school) and the other he touched on the chest (this is the way Harley gets people's attention when he talks to them...and was a goal on his IEP for the past two years!!)...We are floored....



No one can tell us what set Harley off today...A discipline form comes home from school today that says:

"Harley threw a chair. Told younger kids he was going to kill them. Called Mrs. Dull and I bitches, assholes, etc that we were going to die and he was going to kill us".



The note below that made by the principal says:
"Further escalation or continued incidents will result in suspension and/or reevaluation of placement and services".



Now this makes it harder for me...the teacher making this report is a teacher I've never heard of before..who is she and why was Harley with younger students? Secondly, why is this teacher making the report and not his FULL TIME ONE ON ONE AIDE? (Mrs. Dull btw)....There's a section on teh form that lists "possible motivation (circle)" (and one of the choices is "other" and another is "Don't know"...they marked NOTHING?! We don't know what the antecedent for this behavior was...does anyone even know what set him off? How are we supposed to fix it if we don't know what caused it? I don't know where he's coming up with these killing, cuss words etc...he watches PBS kids and videos that are carefully selected and approved by us...maybe he gets it from hanging with the older kids? IDK!



Now if you recall, I did blog earlier this week about how they don't think he needs a behavior plan? And remember, they made a TON of mistakes on the IEP and they were to have corrected it and send a corrected copy home? Well his LAST IEP -- that is still currently valid (since the draft copy isn't completed yet!) outlines that he is NOT capable of understanding the district code of conduct...This last "draft copy" they didn't have the box marked...so that is one of the corrections that they were to have made...It appears the principal is not aware that he cannot use the 'standard' code of conduct with Harley...



I mean I completely understand the need to "protect" the staff and students of the school...but if someone is setting him off (and I highly suspect that the team members are) then I need to know...They know Harley won't communicate that...and I've had no reports as to what has been setting him off...



The reason I believe it's the team members setting him off is because I found out that because of my calls to the special ed director has started a complete and throurgh audit of their special ed services at that school...and are finding other parents are having the same problems...although most of the other special ed students are much more high functioning than Harley is...and NOW they are agreeing that that is true....but have been "arguing" with me over the past two years that he is much more high functioning...and now they are backtracking and trying to get him out of the school...BTW: That WILL NOT stop the audit of their program and progress of all the students.



Oh and I never got a chance to mention that last night I got a call from an old friend I met through freecycle who I talk to maybe two or three times a year now...we've known her for over five years now...she tells me that her daughter is one of Harley's classmates and she heard about the 'evacuation' of the classroom because of Harley's behavior and wanted to know if there was anything she or her daughter could do to help us/Harley...Then she tells me that the students were given an assignment to write an essay about something nice they can do for Harley because the class was laughing at him that day (the day that they had to evac the classroom)...well, there you go...there's the REAL reason for the outburst...He IS Austistic...HE CANNOT handle his emotions and does NOT understand them...so when he's frustrated, hurt, embarrassed (and when people laugh at you?! What do you feel?)...he lashes out violently...Of course, the school CONVIENIENTLY left this part out and said it was because he was expected to his times tables...



Sorry, I am steaming hot mad blah blah........I need to close for now...I am just rambling and my anger is coming through....



Now what would you do? Would you send Harley to school on Monday or wait until the "staff / team" has their little pow wow (while you call ARC and special ed directors)...and then send him to school when a possible solution is formulated? I hate to make Harley and the other students go through all this...I just don't know what to do?