Today is the 4th of July...I should be happy celebrating...but I so miss my older children. Knowing they are being whisked away from me to go hang with their dad, who will do NOTHING with them...It just sucks...It never feels like a holiday when they're not here...
I am also reminiscing about the thought that I should have a one year old baby right now...My very first Angel, which I lost on 12/5/06 would've been born about this time last year...Although her EDD was mid-July, I was hoping that my history of early labor would give me a 4th of July baby! I always thought it would be so cool to have a child on the 4th of July...imagine the excitement!! In fact, if the pregnancy continued my plans were to try everything in my power to make sure that little person would be born on July 4th...Kelly has named the first one Liberty...She's decided she had to go back and name the Angels. I guess that's an appropriate name...
But instead, I should be happy that I have the children I have and move on...Days like this are just hard to get past / over...
Hey, maybe I'm feeling emotional for another reason (wink, wink)...I did crave hot dogs for breakfast ... I only crave hot dogs when I'm pregnant...BUT I don't want to set myself up for failure...so I am trying to turn my mind off...I swear at this point, everything I feel is a symptom...Still have 8 days to go in this 2ww...
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