RANTS: Respite, "not obviously disabled" and Integration

RANT ABOUT RESPITE: Let me tell you about what our respite did today!! PO'd me! To the point that I told him not to come back since he only has 3 weeks left anyhow...Actually he has to come back at least once to say goodbye to Harley...Harley has to have that closure...

Let me give a disclaimer: He did respite for Harley when Harley was 3...before he was verbal and did fine with him...but he only watched movies and played video games.
Harley didn't have enough community training yet to have someone else take him in public...They are just not a good personality match anymore...

J. called to say he was gonna be late..He's a total MOVIE nut so I told DH he probably went to a pawn shop and found a good deal...Sure enough...he went on and on when he did get here 1/2 hr late .. he got a 27" lcd tv for $100...I could care less!


Harley wanted to plant corn seeds. J said I am NOT a gardner I won't do it...Thinks it's something we should do with him...He works for Harley BTW and Harley wanted to do it with him...Harley even got a book and picked out the corn himself...It's a wonderful book that gives step by step instructions with pictures...It's AWESOME for Harley's needs...

So Harley wanted to cook...J wouldn't do that either. Kept making excuses...

SOOOOO we talked them into going to a park. We selected the park b/c it had geese and we had some bread for Harley to feed the geese...J. whimpered about he couldn't figure out how to get there...take this street east to that street..go north. 2 blocks on the right...HUGE lake, can't miss it!?

Oh he asked if he could have Harley wash his car!! I told him no b/c Harley's afraid of the trigger do it yourself kind and terrified of the auto ones. Then I told him Harley would lock him out of the car if he just left Harley inside...he said 'that's typical--I'm used to that....' WTH???

We had given them $$ to get an ice cream cone...he got him a mcflurry (many more calories BTW)...I guess he just wasn't thinking on the calorie level and I didn't 'strictly say an ice cream cone'...

Then went to HIS HOUSE (and unloaded his new tv? I assume)...got a fountain he wanted to get rid of to give to Andrew....then took Harley to DVD stop (a store) to 'look at' some DVDs (not for Harley!)...Harley's grounded from going there b/c of his behavior the last two weeks...How could J. have missed Harley's and mine conversation right in front of him when Harley was trying to come up with ideas of what to do? He said he didn't know and didn't hear...

Then he gets back reminds us that his last day is the 25th...So I said to Harley only one more week after that and thats' it...no more J. (every sunday). Then J. says he needs next sunday off b/c it's Mother day...I said "Oh, are you a MOM!!??" (he's a MAN!) (who has no wife!) Never married, but has a 12 yr old kid. He said he was taking his baby's momma (Sorry, Jerry Springer attitude entered there by me! LOL) to a nice meal out...well you're only scheduled 12-4...go after or before...nope, just won't do it!!?? In all fairness, let me say that he did offer to reschedule for Friday or Saturday...I did the math wrong, but then in looking at the calendar the 25th's during a holiday weekend...so I don't know if he realizes that yet...

I swear he makes every excuse in the book!! I wonder if he's an only child?

They have not hired someone to take over after the 25th...I told them to take the whole respite line item out of my plan...I'm sick of this and the turnover...Harley's a good kid and doesn't need the change in routine/provider. Autistic children need routine and when they're constantly having to readjust, they're only going to act out.

But theres' a shortage of providers and I refuse to allow just anyone to watch him...I'm told that's unusual...most parents just want to 'unload' their kid and could care less....I'm told I'm picky....I deserve to be!!

*END OF RANT ABOUT RESPITE*


NOT OBVIOUSLY DISABLED: Also got a denial letter from the place that was gonna help with the basement to stop Harley from climbing around the gas / water lines that feed the water heater and to put up ceiling tiles to stop him from pulling the wiring out...(oh and the lighting fixtures!)...because he's not in a wheelchair. They want to save their funding for kids in wheelchairs because they feel it's $$ better spent...OK, well when the house blows up because the gas line got broke with Harley climbing over/under it...get back to me!!?? But I'm expecting too much...behaviors can't be seen and can't be photographed for fund raising purposes / annual reports...(I worked for a non profit for over 20 years and I KNOW that's what motivates the board on who/what to approve)...They were here for about 10 mins...Harley didn't show any obvious behaviors (other than pacing) in that time....I'm frustrated!

*END OF THAT RANT*

INTEGRATION: The scene: Yard sale--yesterday: A child about Harley's age was MUCH MORE patient and understanding when Harley had a melt down than the dad did...just goes to show you what integration does for the 'neurotypical' kids too...Dad about had a meltdown while his son was cool, calm and collected and talked with us and Harley. Of course, after Harley destroyed the lego display and I was picking it up I was nearly in tears, but had to remain 'the professional parent of a child with autism'...(vs. the emotional parent of a child with autism LOL).

Oh, I should tell the story: Harley wanted a box of legos they wanted $50 for. He doesn't need legos...he's got 4 HUGE boxes of legos and builds stuff just to 'explode' it...Lego's everywhere all the time!! Harley threw a screaming fit and had to be taken down and relocated to the van. I spoke to him and asked him to count to 10 and take deep breaths while 'guiding' him into the seat of the van...thought for sure that was the end of it....As soon as I closed the van door, he opened it and tried to jump out and ran back to the table with the lego display and screeched and screamed...Dad offered to sell us the box for $40 b/c he just wanted Harley out of there...I told him it wasn't about the price...it was about (see above...too many legos)...We talked the son into selling us the 2 pieces Harley actually wanted out of the box (a scorpion that's minute and a rock guy looking thingy). We paid him $1 each...a good deal for the kid and his dad!!

My shoulders are still sore from the whole deal and I have a couple of bruises but everything's 'back to normal'...at least our 'normal'...

Now that I've had my rant session...Enjoy the slide show on the next post...