I just passed my little Andi embryo. She looked just like a kidney bean. She had little leg buds, a little head. That's all I could make out...but I could make that much out for sure. I thought of taking a picture of her since it's the only thing I will have to prove she existed but at the same time that seems completely morbid.
Now, it's time to just wait till the rest of the remains are expelled. I am in such pain physically. The emotional pain is also unbearable...but I will get through it.
I guess I can start my new chart now, CD1...:( My temp has dropped to pre pregnancy levels already (97.4) and I don't doubt that my hcg levels with drop rapidly.
5 comments:
I do not think it would have been morbid as much as trying to have something to remember your dear little child. I passed my first baby at 12 weeks and I too sat there in amazment holding my child in my hand, just the tinest little creature of God. So innocent, and so peaceful, sleeping there looking perfectly formed with arms, legs, and a face. It absolutely broke my heart. I am praying God holds you in his arms and you find the strength to move forward, always keeping Andi's memory in your heart.
I probably would have taken a picture. I had an U/S taken at 8 wks and all they saw was an empty sac. I've been spotting brown for 11 days now and I have a follow up U/S next week. I'm preparing for the worst. I had a m/c a few years back so, I kinda know what to expect, I guess. You have so many emotions going on through your head. Right now I'm in between not knowing if I am pregnant with a baby or if I am about to have a m/c. I pray for a baby but at the same time I have prayed for a speedy m/c. Sounds strange to pray for both. Of course I want to have a baby inside of me but I have no control what is happening inside of my body and I hate that feeling. I took a picture of my belly and If next weeks u/s proves that their is nothing then I will put that picture and my HPT in a shoe box just as a reminder that I was pregnant. I am so sorry for what you are going through. Lately I've had so much trouble concentrating and taking care of my other children. It's not fair to them that I have been so messed up over the last few days. I thought when my HCG levels doubled that I could start feeling possitive again but the spotting hasn't gone away at all. I don't care if it's your first m/c or your 20th....the feeling is so overwhelming. I just wanted you to know that you are NOT ALONE.
What Makes a Mother
I thought of you and closed my eyes.
And prayed to God today.
I asked what makes a mother and
I know I heard him say,
A mother has a baby.
This we know is true.
But God, can you be a mother
when your baby's not with you?
Yes, you can, He replied
with confidence in His voice.
I give many women babies.
When they leave is not their choice.
Some I send for a lifetime
and others for a day.
And some I send to feel your womb
but there's no need to stay.
I just don't understand this. God,
I want my baby here.
He took a breath and cleared His throat
and then I saw a tear.
I wish I could show you
what your child is doing today.
If you could see your child smile
with other children and say,
"We go to earth to learn our lessons
of life and love and fear.
My Mommy loved me, Oh so much,
I got to come straight here.
I feel so lucky to have a Mom
who had so much love for me,
I learned my lesson very quickly.
My Mommy set me free.
I miss my Mommy, Oh so much,
but I visit her each day.
When she goes to sleep,
on her pillow's where I lay.
I stroke her hair and kiss her cheek
and whisper in her ear,
'Mommy don't be sad today,
I'm your baby and I'm here.'"
So you see, my dear sweet one,
your children are okay.
Your babies are here in MY home
and this is where they'll stay.
They'll wait for you with ME
until your lesson is through.
And on the day that you come home,
they'll be at the gates for you.
So now you see what makes a Mother—
It's the feeling in your heart.
It's the love you had so much of,
right from the very start.
Though some on earth may not realize you are a Mother,
until their time is done.
They'll be up here with ME one day,
and know you're the best one.
~Jennifer Wasik~
((hugs)) Are all I can send your way. I hope that you are comforted by the love and support of others.
But IT STILL SUX
i am so sorry, HUGS! god bless sweetie
Janis
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