Mediation

Had a mediation meeting yesterday...It went ok...just as suspected we didn't "walk away" with any agreement (other than child support, which I could really care less about!)...

It's when I got home that things turned bad...(taken from FB):

I'm back and the kids just proved his point...that they walk all over me...I feel so disrespected!! :(


I get home and Zac's sleeping (yes, at 5pm, just as I told them NOT to let them do so I could get some sleep tonight). I get right on dinner...of course have to clean the kitchen b/c no one did the dishes from all day (but they sure did dirty a lot of them...Then they ask if a friend (Troy) can come over for the night. I say sure, I'll pick him up after I finish making dinner...

Then Kelly's phone rings...Matt & Jenna want them to go play racquetball...I said No...I could use some help and downtime...I've had a stressful day and they let Zac sleep later than they were told...so they cop attitudes with me...I tell them to arrange it for tomorrow..."but Troy can't go tomorrow"!! Whannny whanny!!

So fine, Matt & jenna can go and get Troy then...why should I go and get him just to have him leave?!

Then Tyler starts in about going to the park...Kelly says she "promised him" if he took a nap he could go to the park...does she not understand the thinking of a 3 year old? He doesn't understand the "IF"....

so I offer to let Tyler play in the mud pit (AKA: our backyard) and then give him a bath...no that's not good enough....
God, I just can't make anyone happy?!?!?!?

Oh yeah, and I failed to mention that they didn't even BOTHER to ask what their fate is....huh....

...I am just so hurt...and I haven't even touched on the hurtful things she said...

It seems Kelly thought that it went bad and we "lost" b/c I was "in a bad mood". I was not in a bad mood, but disappointed when I got home b/c Zac was sleeping at 5pm like I told them NOT to let him do!! I will try to get to my blog sometime today and update the whole story...

****************************the rest of the story***************************

I arrived at 1:30 like scheduled and the opposing attorney wasn't there. Finally the opposing attorney's "partner" showed up....who had not had a chance to review the case...He refused to allow Andrew in the room to be a part of the meeting. Then - after showing up 10 minutes late - informs us that the "original attorney" had an emergency and couldn't be here...and that he needed to leave at 2:30 to make a court appearance "upstairs". The next thing that comes up is that they have not paid their share of the mediator fees...Not Kenny NOR his attorney (the letter specifies that it is to be paid 10 days prior to the meeting!! -- I did my part!)...

So we hashed out the child support first...there is no way I can waive it...which is crap to me! Anyways, not sure how far everyone's been following this but I owe him 5 years of back support at $112 a month (no, really I don't but hey...its not worth arguing with him over) so that at least reduced his child support obligation from $700+ a month to $300+ a month through 2011 when Robert turns 19. After that it will only be Kelly he hs to pay support for (almost $400 a month for her alone)...They squirmed and squiggled and trying to schister me by doing the math wrong as to what I owed in back support...Thankfully I caught on and did the math right and brought it to their attention. Then they were able to reduce his obligation further by changing the financial affidavit to show what I would make if I worked 40 hrs instead of 28 hours a week (a difference of $12 a month on child support...talk about them nickel and diming me!!) -- Like I said it wasn't about the money to me....Since I had no choice but to accept child support, I have asked that it be done by income assignment - that way he doesn't need to write my name on a check nor does he have the availability of bouncing a check to me....

Then they tried to call the meeting closed...I reminded them we still had to discuss parenting time..This is where I started to just get so frustrated b/c Ken seems to think the kids "belong" to him, as if they are possessions and I kept reminding him that "they are actually people, not possessions!!"

He wants the children for the summer. I told him that that may affect Robert's ability to continue with the place he is doing his internship offering him a paid position after high school graduation. Not only that but Robert is on probation through September and KEN would have to follow through and get the paperwork transferred from Colo to Wyoming...which he claims he would do (but he never follows through on anything!!) Besides, Robert is 18 and it's ultimately HIS decision so this was a waste of time....I've worked hard to get Robert enrolled in programs to assist with job training and placement after high school (he is spec ed and qualified for two programs!)...and now because Ken feels Robert is "his"...well he's gonna take all that away and affect his future earning potential.

When it came time to talk about Kelly we got into an argument...Kelly wants nothing to do with him and would rather just let Andrew adopt her and remove her father from her life altogether...she even wants to change her last name!! She doesn't want to go to Wy...away from a potential summer job..away from her friends...away from her siblings...away from the ability to text her friends (her cell phone doesn't work there)...He responds with "well none of us liked our parents at 16"....I told him it's deeper than that and that is between he and his daughter and he needs to make the time to talk directly with her. He kept arguing about how he was "entitled to see his daughter"...I told him that I promised Kelly I would go and advocate for her and be her voice...her voice told me that she wishes to speak directly to the judge herself and that we would just have to leave the mediation meeting "agreeing to disagree" on the issue of Kelly and that the judge could make the determination after he/she speaks with Kelly....

So who knows when that court hearing will be?

Anyhows, I have GOT to finish getting ready to head out the door for the activities of the day...I'm sure I left a thing or two out but anyone reading this gets the gist of what I am saying and what happened...