Can I just Explode Now?!

Just some things I want to get off my chest I guess...

I broke down into tears this morning...just feeling so overwhelmed and not ready to leave my family for an unknown number of days...

ON top of that, I am still trying to get respite arranged for when I am at the hospital.

I got a bill from Robert's VoTech program for $125 for fees that he was supposed to have paid by going through his job training program at Workforce center. I have until the 30th to get it paid or get him re-enrolled in the program and get him to at least 2 appointments or he won't be able to attend next semester. I mean I can pay the $125 by the 30th, but his follow through sucks, how is this boy gonna handle adulthood come February?! Do you think his dad will help with any of it? No of course not, not until he gets word that no one else will pay it for him!!

Then we go to make arrangements for Robert's senior pictures...he tells me we have until Nov 5th to get them into the yearbook...well, he was wrong we had until OCTOBER 5th!! GRH!! he's not gonna have his picture in the yearbook of the year he graduates?! I am NOT happy...he didn't even give me the paperwork til the day before Halloween!

I get a letter in the mail from the court ordering me and the ex to go through mediation....I have no problem with that BUT I have until this coming WEDNESDAY to get a mediator picked, get the ex and his attorney to agree on this mediator and the fees and get a notice to the court...Yeah, Right?!

I'm trying to make sure I get thanks off to all the people who have offered help with things around the house or meals while I am 'down'...I'm trying to get ahead but it seems that there's always something that gets in the way.

Andrew's been dog tired...I've been sick so he's been keeping up with my schedule. I am worried about him...he's burning his candle at both ends...and I still have to train him on Harley's schedule...Harley will not be a cooperative sort if Andrew doesn't keep to his schedule.

It snowed nearly 2 feet over the weekend...and then the glorious sun came out...not a good mix for my eyes...so now I have to keep my shades closed or I am in extreme pain. I sure hope surgery corrects this...I can't even go out and drop off the trash in the can outside...it just hurts so much.

I can't handle the thought of depending on other people, but I have seriously considered calling someone who had offered to take Ty and Zac to their house today so i could work on my paperwork and get a little rest...I have considered contacting other people who offered to run errands to go to the store and get me ink for my printer so I can print out these forms for court...to run the forms to the court house for me...to go to the grocery store and pick up milk *sigh* I just feel so lame...I am the one who decided to have five children...I should be able to take care of them and everything that goes along with it right?

OK, end of vent...I shouldn't even be here...I have so many things to do yet....