Yesterday marked five months since I lost my precious Andi. I am still empty. The doctor has given me a screwed up plan for taking progesterone that will probably force me to stop ovulating for a couple of months if not more. I have been having an internal struggle to decide if I want to accept his plan as it is prescribed or to take the progesterone 3 days after O is confirmed. I thought I had decided to take it the way I want to but then last night it hit me...if I take it the way I want to and I get pregnant (finally) as soon as I stop, most likely I would lose the baby. The doctor is only giving me a 24 day supply (two months of his suggested regimen).
Because I don't want to chance having another loss, I guess I will go about his plan and throw mine out the window. I've lost all hope that I will get pregnant again anyway, especially before I turn 40.
So I guess I'm taking a break from TTC by doing it the way the doctor has prescribed. It sucks that my last pregnancy rememberance will be of the one I lost instead of a happy, healthy pregnancy ending in holding a beautiful little baby...
2 comments:
I'm so sorry. It's hard to see the future, but don't give up hope if you really want a baby! My mom had a (surprise) baby at age 42 and he is a perfectly healthy 16 year old boy. Hang in there. Perhaps a 2 month break is all your body needs.
(Mary Ellen from BBC)
Why if you stopped the progesterone would you lose the baby? Were you on progesterone for your other pregnancies? As I understand progesterone it's a "can't hurt, might help" kind-of a thing. At least that is what they told me when I wanted to go on it when I was pregnant with Liam. I was on it from about 7 weeks until 12 weeks. Once you were pregnant you could tell your doctor you want to continue to take it... Sorry if I'm totally off here.. Just trying to help!
-Meredith
Post a Comment