Thursday, May 1, 2008

Zac's surgery today...and more

I leave in about 3 hours for Zac's surgery to get his tubes put in. That means you'll more than likely get a little break from me...

For those of you avoiding talking to me at all b/c of my bad least I'm not as angry feeling today as yesterday. Not feeling much more hopeful--still feeling weepy and teary, but not as angry at least...I just wish my friends would quit acting like I'm invisible...(sorry, I should clarify...the friends I would've expected to be the most supportive...maybe they're just sitting there laughing thinking I deserve this?--so maybe it's for the best that they are acting like I'm invisible?)

Another blood draw today too. I don't know what to think...I'm trying very hard to be hopeful...maybe my dates really are off? At the same time, I am so afraid to be hopeful...I hate roller coasters! Some symptoms are returning (about every other day)...but I also know they can mean nothing...I could still have an empty sac developing and continue to have symptoms till I'm 10-12 weeks!?

So today is Thursday...that means I have...4 days till the next ultrasound. I wish I could push this to back of my mind. I hope they see something on the ultrasound (a pole, a yolk sac that's measurable?)...I don't plan to take any pills or schedule any D&C till I'm at least 12-14 weeks...if I can make it that long...Maybe I will have a miracle baby?

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