I don't think I'm quite in the 2ww...but I am glad the 5 week wait is over. Don't get me wrong, I'm not happy about the whole situation...It's just been one heck of a roller coaster I've been on for five weeks and now I feel some closure...Andrew broke down and cried over the loss today...All this time he's been holding out hope for the heartbeat, even after the bleeding started.
I will be having betas drawn every other week until my levels are at 0 (or below 4 anyhow)…so I guess I am in the 2ww so to speak? I'm pretty sure the levels will drop quickly, since they were already on the way down and I have now passed everything...an ultrasound today confirmed that nothing remains.
As soon as I get word my levels have dropped...GAME ON! (poor DH huh?)
Now I know many of you are thinking "wow, you really need to heal emotionally", but I think over the last five weeks, I have prepared so much for this loss that I am truly ready to move on. A spring baby would be nice! (any baby would be nice right?)
Kelly has decided that if we hold off on announcing the next pregnancy till after we see the heartbeat she WILL NOT be offended. When I got pregnant with Zac, we waited until we had confirmation that the pregnancy was viable before we told her and she was 'offended' that we had kept it secret from her for so long. Today, I asked if she now understood why we would wait to tell her...and she totally understands. She hopes it happens quickly and that we will be telling her by her birthday in September about her next 'brother' (She's also hoping for another boy now).
She was so sweet. She called her dad and asked permission to stay at my house last night because I was "sick" and she wanted to stay and help. I am so thankful to have such a wonderful loving caring daughter...And she truly helped me out tons through the ordeal last night...when I was too drugged to walk...when it came time to put the boys to bed...She's just an awesome young lady with the coolest views on life and love!!
1 comment:
Tracy, I truly believe that Kelly is your angel. She is such a big help to you and so unselfish about where life has put her. I know of MANY young ladies that would cause such a hardship because they wouldn't be able to have things there way. I'm so glad she understands about waiting to announce an impending pregnancy. We waited until we were 3 months to announce Angelique's arrival. I wanted to make sure that this was really happening before I got everyone worked up.
As much as Andrew has been a butt to you this past month(or however long) I think his attitude will improve. I think that he was holding out hope for the little Andi that he pushed everyone else away. I'm not saying it to be mean, but in my experience with hard-headed men that don't show their emotions, I see how they would have acted the same way.
Miss Angelique is calling from the bed. It's time for breakfast. I'll be around! Love you, girl.
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