Yesterday Zac (and Kelly) got shots...Zac has been up all night crying...Cried for an hour inconsolable! None of my other kids ever had this kind of reaction. poor guy is so uncomfortable with the fever and body aches...I hope it doesn't last long! It seems the fever has broke (breaking news, here at 3:30 AM!)...I'm hoping that he does better each and every hour now...
My other poor baby is my sweet DD Kelly. She told her dad yesterday that she didn't want to go to his house anymore...She wants to stay with me full time. He told her that he would talk to her about it when he 'wasn't driving' (he calls when he's 5 minutes away and expects the kids to wait outside for him so he doesn't have to get out of his vehicle!). So he shows up and she goes outside without her backpack or shoes and basically refuses to get into his car! I thought he would blow his lid!! I went out with her and told him that she cries for the last 2 weeks, everytime she has to go to his house...she explained to him that she just feels more comfortable here because she can have 'girl talk' and feels like part of a family here (he stays in his basement getting drunk and they never see him!). He insists she has to go with him and gives her the evil eye. At this point my hands are tied, I can't defy the court order that's 8 years old! She called me at 8:30 as she does every night and said that her dad told her she can't come to live with me full time because Robert doesn't want to live with me full time! (that's a whole 'nother paragraph!). I guess he went on to explain that since Robert is always "unhappy" when he comes from my house he won't let Robert even consider it...and how 'unfair' it would be to Robert if she were to live here because then he wouldn't have anyone to hang with.
So this takes me to the Robert paragraph...Robert is not unhappy because of me when coming from my house to his, but unhappy because he has to go to his dad's house. Both the kids say they are 'afraid' of him because he gets drunk and yells a LOT! Not only that, but we do put our foot down when it comes to his OCD on Yugioh (he's 16 and really should try to grow up!)...We make him shower (even though he has sensory issues) and clip his nails, and take care of himself. He'd rather just be a 'free spirit' and get to do whatever he wants whenever he wants--which is what it's like at his dad's house since there's never any supervision. Robert is also upset because his dad won't let him have friends over or get phone calls unless it's on his sister's phone! In all these years, Kenny hasn't EVER let them have a friend over for a couple hours, no less overnight (or a whole week like his friends do when it comes to our house!)
So I've decided I'm going to start drafting up papers to file for a modification. I don't know how ready I am for this on a paperwork and emotional levels as I'm afraid his parents' money will win out once again...I REFUSE! to hire an attorney since I've lost worst each time I've gone in with an attorney...I've got the pediatrician pushing that I file, the OT pushing, Robert's psychologist pushing, Kelly pushing...I'm scared to death that his parents will put all their money behind him and I'll end up losing the time I do have with my kids...But I feel like I have a fairly good case, especially now that they can talk to the judge! So now I'm just gonna rant on...I don't know if a judge will see these things as important or nitpicking...
*Robert steals food from my pantry (canned tuna, soups, peanut butter) to eat at his dad's b/c his dad only feeds him skimpy tv dinners, delivery, one night he only got a can of cream of mushroom soup...
*Kenny DOES NOT deal with all school decision making. Sure he scheduled Robert's IEP for the day I ended up going into labor with Zac so I couldn't attend. BUT I'm the one who's been called when Robert got expelled for fighting b/c he begged the school officials not to call his dad...I'm the one who provides all the school supplies, I'm the one who does all the registrations every year!
*Both Robert & Kelly complain that they are afraid of him, and even moreso when he's been drinking, which is EVERYDAY! They recently told me that he gets up at 6 to drive them to school/bus and starts his day with a beer or two!! (THEN DRIVES THEM TO SCHOOL???)
*Kenny is supposed to be providing health and dental insurance. He hasn't even tried in the last 8 years to do so! Now do you think he'll pitch in towards the $400 a month it costs to cover them on my insurance? Heck no!! He plays this...well it covers 7 people in your household, divide 400 by 7, that's 70 a month...FINE then you buy the insurance and tell me you can get it for 70 a month for both kids for the same coverage...butthead! (oops, that sounds like I'm bitter huh?)
*He won't let the kids have friends over...even for an hour
*He yells and drinks...The kids are afraid of him to the point that they won't communicate anything important to him b/c they are afraid he will get mad and yell at them. This is dangerous with teenagers!
*He gives them absolutely NO Emotional support...this is not healthy or good considering Kelly is a teenaged girl and Robert has LOTS of anger management problems and other problems related to his various disabilities.
I'm afraid if I list all this stuff as reasons for why I want a modification, the judge will say "oh my you sound bitter" but it's really about the kids...Does it sound like it's about the kids? Does it sound like I'm Bitter? I'm not trying to be bitter but when my kids are mistreated (or neglected?) I get upset!!
OK, well now that I got that rant off my chest and Zac fell back to sleep, I think I'm going to see if my mind will let me relax enough to sleep for a couple more hours....back to the couch!