Since this blog's name is Harleyisms, I thought I would include this Harleyism. It's not a fun one and in fact has probably led to this, my 4th night in a row with severe insomnia...Therefore, I hereby disclaim that I am batty at this point! I even tried to get a nap in twice today, but my body just wouldn't let me relax (or was it my mind?).
We tried to get Harley to eat a chicken salad sandwich tonight with us (rather than making him something totally different -- Like a PBJ! or Pancakes or waffles). In the past, we've been successful at getting him to eat chicken salad in a tortilla (like a wrap) or even some chicken and cheese on a tortilla (a quesedilla - mom style). Tonight, he would have no part of it. He took one bite (I really should give him credit for doing that much) BUT then he spit it across the table! It nearly made me gag (I can't stand the thought of someone throwing up or the sound or smell of it!--and the sight of the chewed piece of bread just nauseated me). I managed to keep my cool through it (and my cookies too!). The next trial was to ask him to try to swallow a bite...that began scratching me on the arms and screaming and kicking/jumping up and down with all his might...That just set off Andrew and he did a take down on Harley to 'try to calm him down'. EDIT I personally think this was a little extreme! Take downs no longer work and just upset him and escalate the problem nowadays. Harley has also figured how to get out the various holds (since we don't really hold him hard or anything). So in my efforts to now calm both Harley and Dad down, dad gets upset that I intervened and feels that I am calling him a bad parent. In the meantime, I have to leave the dining room because Tyler is totally freaked out by everyone's behavior!
Suddenly Harley announces he's going to go on an adventure. (BTW, that means he's leaving the house -- atleast he announces it now?! - I'm kind of glad he's verbal now!). I am already in my nightgown (NOT my pjs with pants which is what I usually wear!) -- At the same time Dad decides he is going to go out the back door because he can't stand listening to Harley while I try to deal with him, since I felt "he has substandard parenting skills". Well, how am I supposed to deal with Tyler (he was dressed, but I wasn't and there was no way to just pick him up and carry him off with me) and deal with Harley for all intents and purposes ready to run away??? I had to ask dad to stay in the house and deal with Tyler so I could deal with Harley. (Harley is now at the point that he rages all the harder if he even sees dad because the take down was traumatic to him. I finally get a chance to run after Harley (still in my nightie!) and he's halfway up the street (thankfully it's a dead end street, but at the end there's a greenbelt) and it's nearing 7:00 and beginning to get dark....I can't stand the thought of losing Harley (or any of the other kids either!!).
I talk with Harley and he decides that dad is possessed by an evil character he's made up in his mind...I tried to explain that dad was frustrated, but Harley was convinced that dad was angry....I asked Harley if I could at least go home and put my clothes on since the neighbors don't want to see me in my pj's...He just can't bring himself to come home but said that I could go home and he would 'go on an adventure by myself'. I couldn't very well do that! So instead I tried to reason with him and tell him that he would need shoes to go on an adventure (thinking I could sneak in and put clothes and shoes on myself). He still wouldn't have any part of it. Well the dog (Summer) had followed us -- she follows us everywhere!! She showed me that when I say help Harley she actually butts up to his side and brings him along for me...It worked! I've gotta remember to get her a special treat.
I talked Harley into standing on the edge of our property line (he wouldn't go into our yard because dad was on the swing in the front yard and Harley was still having his raging episode and was worried that dad was possessed by an evil monster! (all this because of a take down because of not wanting to eat a chicken salad sandwich?). I talked dad into keeping an eye on him to see where he will go, but to NOT follow him...I managed to get my clothes and shoes on and then talked Harley into getting the dog's leash to take her on a walk...I even managed to get his shoes for him and he put them on (no socks, but hey one step of progress is better than none at all!).
EDIT: I actually left a part out there..While I was in getting dressed Harley decided to get into the van. When I came out Andrew had him 'cornered'. When I was talking to Harley about getting his shoes on and taking the walk, Andrew insisted on staying put. I asked Andrew to move and give him some personal space (he was waaay too close to Harley and he needs his space when he's this upset). Andrew began yelling at me till I was in tears about how I think he sucks as a parent and that I think he's an @$$hole...I didn't say anything of the sort, but now the neighbors probably think that I called him those things. This morning when Andrew and I were talking about it, he explains to me that he was in Harley's face because Harley was calling him names and telling him how mean he was....who's the adult here?
We got about one house down and Harley began hallucinating that there were cameras watching him, armored tanks coming to attack and three headed dogs...By this time, dad had put Tyler in his stroller and decided to walk a couple of paces behind us. I talked Harley into taking a different route around the block to 'hide' from the evil things he was seeing...We ran into a neighbor who decided to strike up a conversation with Harley, the dog and dad. We talked for about 15 minutes. By then Harley was ready to head back home because he felt 'it's safe now'. When we got home, dad apologized to him and got Harley crying all over again. It's so hard on him, he's just starting to grasp the idea of feelings and takes it so hard sometimes. It's heartbreaking to watch....
I discussed with Harley that if he ever wants to go on an adventure, he needs to take a parent or Robert or Kelly with him--that it's not safe for him to go on an adventure alone. He just doesn't understand any safety rules and I am now so worried that he's going to hallucinate back in time to this episode and decide to leave the house. I gotta get the ADT guys back out here and figure a way to get our door chimes set louder or get a second speaker installed in the hallway (or my bedroom), or get it set to alarm all the time?
I am such a nervous wreck that he's gonna leave I'm not able to relax....Well of course there's other things keeping me awake too but I am so worried about losing my precious little boy!?
Heck, if you've actually read this whole thing, you've gotta be a real friend! I can't really vent to anyone else. I can't vent to 'my ladies' -- I'm so sure they are tired of hearing all my 'woes'....It sure feels better to get it all out in some way shape or form though -- even if no one reads it.
1 comment:
I'm still reading. :)
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